My Life in Pictures

That pretty much sums me up!

Everybody's Working for the Weekend!

As a parent, I have to say that weekends lose all of the romanticized notions they develop during your adolescent and young adult years.  No longer are you left to your own devices to wake up according to your natural body clock;  I have five clocks besides my own (seven if you count the dogs) that control my schedule.  Fortunately for me, two of those individuals ARE teenagers and we have an understanding; they don't bug me and I don't bug them.  My boys, on the other hand, are no respecters of my schedule.  Weekends are the time to get stuff done.  It's normally the time that Matt is home and that we don't have much to contend with other than some time at my job at Willow.  Truth be told, there's are good things and bad things about that; many times I would rather be home, but it's also good for the kids and Matt have to spend some together.  Honestly, I think the kids appreciate me more after a day home with Dad.... not because he's bad, but just because he's different.

If I'm talking about my perfect weekend, it would involve waking and sleeping at my leisure and being able to do the things that I want to do.  I could clean my craft room, straighten up my bedroom, do some laundry and maybe do a little grocery shopping.  As I get older, I find that I would prefer to conduct my entire weekend in pajamas, although going to the grocery store sans bra is generally frowned up.  My perfect Saturday would probably have to involve the paring back of my kids schedule... meaning they're in before 2 am and I don't have to provide any rides.

Matt and I would end the night either at a movie or watching an episode of something we'd like in bed without the boys or dogs hanging around.

Sunday is church and no outings.  I can handle the church thing.... it's mostly good, although spending time with everyone else's kids can take it out of you.  But usually, it's a good day for a nap when you have early church.  The only downside of Sunday and Sabbath observance is the fact that my options for Diet Coke become much more limited.  I won't say that I haven't been known to sneak out for a fountain drink, but I will say that it's a bit of a bummer that it has turned into that much of an event for me that I would miss it that much.  For some reason, the cans just aren't the same.

Sunday's at our house also include any number of sandwiches after church; cheese, tuna or some such combination of other ingredients mined from the fridge.  These are often accompanied by chips and salsa or guacamole.  I have no desire for a big dinner or the dishes that accompany it.... unless it's at someone else's house; then I'll travel for sure.

Sunday night would also end about 8:30.  Maybe some TV, maybe a book.... I'm wildly exciting, I know.

Born to Travel

Anyone who knows me, knows that I love to see and experience new places.  I have a list of places a mile long and as soon as these dang kids are self-sufficient, Matt and I will be off on our great adventure.  However, the question of the day is "what is my favorite childhood vacation?"

Although we traveled quite a bit when I was growing up, we were mostly creatures of habit; we went to the same places often.  My grandparents lived in Washington, so we visited them.  My other set of grandparents rented a summer home on the Oregon Coast, so we spent time there.  I can remember several trips to Yellowstone, Disneyland and Washington DC to walk many, MANY Civil War battlefields.  However, I think that my most memorable vacation as a child actually occurred when I was in high school.  Toward the end of my junior year, my parents took our family to Walt Disney World.  I have been dozens of times since then, but I picked this particular trip because it is honestly one of the last ones that we took as a party of five; just Mom, Dad, me and the boys!  It was also the gateway to what has become a major highlight of my family's life since 1992.

It has also changed a lot since that first trip.  We ate dinner at Chef Mickey's when it was still at Downtown Disney.... which doesn't exist anymore.  Now it's known as Disney Springs.  There was this really fun part that was called Pleasure Island.  It was a "night club themed" area and we spent one evening at a stand-up comedy show.  We shopped at a place called Jessica's which offered several pieces of clothing featuring Jessica Rabbit.  I got a really cool sweatshirt that I surrendered YEARS later.  I was so sad to have it fall apart.

Epcot Center was awesome.  It was the first trip of many where I shopped my way around the world.  Buying something from every country was something that I was bound and determined to do.  And Captain Buzzy and Cranium Command?  Best show ever!

We enjoyed a recently opened MGM Studios where Muppets 3D was our favorite attraction and I loved the backlot tour where I saw the front of the Golden Girls house.

The highlight of the trip for me was the fact that my dad bought me a princess crown!  Juvenile? Yes, probably.  But I still have it.  A close second to the large stuffed hippo from Fantasia.

We stayed at the now defunct Disney Inn and decided that this was not going to be a one-off.  We would go back.... although our next trip in 1994 included my new favorite; Matt!

Rebekah Hits the Road

The question for the day is "what was your first driving experience like?"  This seems like it was just yesterday, but can't have been because I'm close to having two teenaged drivers myself.

This is going to show you how old I truly am.  Back in my day, you had to take Drivers Ed before you could get your Learners Permit.  As near as I can remember, driving at 15 seemed to be the one advantage that Idaho had over Utah.  Most of my friends took Drivers Ed as part of their high school schedule.... but not me.  I had too many other important things to do (whatever!)  I think it was mostly because we had a Drivers Ed instructor who taught private lessons in our ward, so we decided to go that route.  Anyway, effectively what that meant for a family of rule followers such as we were, was that I had little to no driving experience until right before I got my license.

The first time I remember sitting behind the steering wheel of a car was in the Hunter High parking lot when I was supposed to be in 8th period Debate.  I can't for the life of me remember whose car it was, but I remember that Ryan Robinson and Rebecca Horrocks were in the car with me.  It was a standard transmission and boy, was I over that whole thing in a hurry.  During Drivers Ed, and in general at my house, I was lucky enough to learn on automatic transmissions.  Little did I know that driving a stick shift would soon become a part of my driving experience.

About two weeks before I turned 16, my dad drove me out to a somewhat abandoned industrial park on a Sunday.  I say somewhat abandoned because although there were few people working then, it was still open to some roving herds of sheep.  What should that matter, you ask?  How hard is it to miss a herd of sheep?  Well, it's rough when you're still trying to learn the difference between the brake and the gas.  Let's just say that there was more than one prayer uttered for Mary's Little Lambs on that Sabbath Day. (Warning: objects in blog post are closer than they appear!)

May 26, 1990... the big day.  I had my Learners Permit, but not my license yet.  That would have to wait until after school.  But the morning of my birthday, my parents took a leap of faith and my mom probably took a Valium and we all loaded up in the car to drive to breakfast at Hardee's (I know!  We know how to celebrate.)  My mom loved their cinnamon raisin biscuits and it seemed close enough to home that it would be a fairly benign outing.  What follows below is the true story of "why the chicken crossed the road?"  Or better yet, "what happened when the chicken crossed the road?"

It was about 6:30 am and after procuring our breakfast, we were on our way back home.  Said chicken had unfortunately attempted to cross three lanes of rush hour traffic on 3500 South and was dead to begin with.  I swear I had nothing to do with that.  The problem was, he was just squished on the road.  Now that some time has passed, I recognize and appreciate the advice my dad gave when he instructed me not to run over the chicken; and yet, things were moving pretty fast at that point and being among that many other moving cars was new to me.  I froze up and bore down on that poor piece of poultry.  I don't know why I find this story so amusing, but I do.

The final story of myself as a new driver has to do with learning to drive a stick shift; I mean truly learning.  After turning 16 and pitching what has become one of the most regrettable fits of my life, I was the proud new operator of a 1979 VW Rabbit.... but it had a standard transmission.  One night, my dad decided that we would go driving on the big roads and learn how to drive in traffic; which really meant learning how to recover from stalling in traffic.  At the intersection of 3500 South and 4000 West, it happened.  We stopped at the light and the car died when I tried to go again.  Honking and flipping of the bird was happening all around me and I was really stressed.  My dad handled it calmly and in stride; my mom and I?  Not so much.  Now, honestly, why we took my mom with us again is a mystery.  She has systematically hated yielding her position as driver and only did so when I was 32 and the space requirements for car seats dictated that we take my minivan instead of her car. Anyway, after several stalls that night and for some time after, I finally mastered a stick shift and the world was my oyster.

I love driving.  I love the feeling of being in control that it gives me and the feeling that I have that I can go and do whatever I want.  I still largely follow the rules my parents gave me when I started driving; I wear my seatbelt, I keep a mostly full tank of gas, I don't let anyone else drive my car and I obey the speed limit.  I do, however, enjoy listening to the radio.  That was my parent's insistence, but is now the only thing that sometimes keeps me from driving my kids into the ditch.

A Lesson I Learned From My Grandpa

Last year was a year of transformations. I got in touch with my feelings, went back to work, wrote sporadically and didn't blog like I'd hoped to.  Writing is great therapy, truth seeking and sometimes requires a large degree of self-censoring.  Obviously, my wish to kick up my blogging in 2017 didn't happen.  So, in an attempt to get back in the habit of writing and looking for the good and, let's face it, the funny, I've decided to consult the ever-wonderful Pinterest and use prompts to write for February.

Grandpa Homer was in the Army during WWII and spent time in the Pacific.

Grandpa Jones was in the Navy in the late 1940's and was a photographer.

When I think about the things I learned from my grandpa(s), there are lots of experiences that fly through my mind.  My Grandpa Homer was a huge part of my life.... he lived next door for most of my life.  It's funny because when I was a kid, if I walked into the house and my Grandma was gone, I would turn around and walk right back out the door.  Willard was a character; and some of my best stories about him result in me laying on the driveway in December or sitting (not so) patiently by as he asked the nearest male for help solving whatever problem was currently before him.  He was a man of the times; traditional in every sense of the word.  Sometimes (most of the time) it drove me nuts..... but as I grew up and grew older, it was something I grew to appreciate.

Despite the fact that he and my grandma always enjoyed a great debate, political or otherwise, he loved her very much.  When I was in high school, I had several opportunities to spend time with my grandparents and it became evident to me that my Grandma was his treasure.  He took care of her, worked hard to provide for her, they traveled together, went to plays and when they were separated, he literally could not function.  I thought that was weird.  My parents weren't like that.  And yet, they are now.

I always found myself wondering what it was that kept them together.  A lot of the time they seemed like oil and water.  But they were committed to each other.  They took care of each other; sometimes in big ways and sometimes in small ways.  I discovered while my grandpa was hospitalized for a period in time that my grandma didn't know how to put gas in her car!  That amazed me.  She didn't know where her checkbook was!  How did that happen post-2000? He didn't cook for himself; unless it was eggs for breakfast.

My grandparents, Willard & Shirley Homer, on their 60th Wedding Anniversary
January 19, 2006

They defended each other fiercely and took care of each other with great dedication.... even when their patience was tried.  They were married for 63 years.  So what did I learn from him?

I learned that things don't have to be perfect to be good.  I learned that some of the best things in life are peppered bacon hidden candy bars.  I learned that showing up on time to work was the easiest thing to do in your day and at the end of the day, the fact that you had a job was it's own reward.  I learned that it can be hard to have integrity in life; there are a lot of gray areas.  But, your integrity is the hallmark of your character.  People will try to take advantage of you and what you have to offer; "to thine own self be true."  Do the right things for the right reasons..... even if your method is flawed and you have to start over from time to time.  Be loyal!

My Grandpa "Jack" with his namesake, Jack Matthew Pierce.
Jack's Blessing Day, March 2006

My Grandpa Jones wasn't around as much when I was younger, but I always looked forward to my visits with my mom's parents.  Looking back, the amount of patience and love that my Grandpa Jones had for his grandchildren seems amazing.  When I would visit, he would take me to work with him.  He would drive me around to make sure that I got a chance to stay with all of my cousins; even though I know I made it hard because I got homesick real easy and would spend nearly my entire trip wanting to be somewhere I wasn't.  There were things that my cousins and I did at my grandparents house that I would scalp my own kids for.  My grandparents were content to let us make up games, play make-believe, and didn't get mad when we'd hide their cigarettes and lighters in the freezer.  Grandpa was up early every day.  I'd come into the kitchen to find him and Grandma playing cribbage and drinking coffee.  There is something to be said for those early morning hours and I wish I could discipline myself to take better advantage of them.

My grandpa remembered near everyone he ever met.  If he couldn't recall them immediately, there was no moving on in the conversation until he did.  My grandpa loved dogs; all dogs.  I blame him for my dog problem.  He loved his Vitamin R.  He loved his grandkids and smelled like Old Spice.  My grandpa loved his family; brothers, sisters, in-laws.... they were all one big happy clan in Hood River.  Some of my best memories from my early married years took place with my Grandpa Jones.  He taught me to make apple and peach pies.  He taught me the importance of locking doors and checking for expiration dates on food (NOT!)

But mostly, he taught me how to keep going; even when I'd messed up.  Don't give up, start over.  He taught me that life is a series of lessons and experiences and they all build upon each other.  And my grandpa taught me that it is never too late.  After years of being around the Mormon Church because of my family, he decided in his last few months on earth that he wanted to join us.  Watching him get baptized, and being able to share that with all of my family, was one of the most touching things I think I will ever be privileged to see.  Grandpa taught me that second chances are real and that life keeps on going.

My parents and my brothers with my Grandpa Jones on the day he was baptized.
June 8, 2014

Grandpa Jones and all of his great-grandchildren:
Erin, Allie, Jack & Will Pierce; Leah & Andrew Homer; Lizzie, Abbey & Charlotte Homer
June 8, 2014

All of these lessons, from both sides of my family, have helped to shape me into the person I am today.  There are parts of them that I cherish, parts of them that I secretly curse and parts of them that I simply stand in awe of.  They were two very different men but both of them loved me very much.  And that love and acceptance is something that I see mirrored and displayed by both of my parents toward my own children.

Thank you to Willard and Wayne for your love, legacy and lessons.

Humor or Hobby.......Truth or Therapy

This is uncharted territory for me.  I find myself looking back over 2016 and being grateful I've survived.  I am looking forward to 2017 and trying to figure out a way to really "come into my own" going forward.  What do I mean by that?  Well for starters, I am trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up; obviously I'm a little slow.  Why am I trying to figure this out?  Well, I'd be lying if I didn't say that I have been feeling a little lost this year.  Trying to figure out how to lead by example, put first things first and prioritize my life is something that hit me hard at 40 and I've been in a tailspin ever since.  I need to get this figured out.

One of the things that I have done over the course of the last year to help deal with some of my issues has been to write.  I have several journals that range from deeply personal to wildly and publicly inappropriate (thank you blog readers).  Anyway, I am trying to figure out if I want to commit to this developing discipline in my life and up my blogging game.

I have a couple of thoughts that I'll share and I hope that you will be willing to provide feedback; good, bad and ugly are all okay.  Here are a few of the known/assumed factors that I am using as guideposts.

• I enjoy writing, and anecdotally at least, I believe that there are those of you who like reading what I write.  This may be just because you know me? Or maybe what I've written has struck a nerve?  Not sure just yet.  I don't get very many written comments on my blog, but I do hear from a lot of you in conversation.  So, am I having a Sally Field moment?  Do you "really like me?"  Please let me know.
• I know that not everything I write is for everybody, and that's okay.  For example, I know that my December posts have been way more religious than most of my stuff.  That may be off-putting to a lot of you.  Addressing the #LightTheWorld posts specifically, I was looking to improve my mental and spiritual attitude for myself in December and having someone provide prompts was helpful.  I appreciated the opportunity to contribute something daily and it proved to be a good exercise for me.  Rest assured, there are plenty of "normal mom posts" waiting in the wings for future appearances.
• I know that my content is inherently personal and this may limit the appeal of my posts.  Truth be told, I see myself as reasonably intelligent, mostly polite, kinda funny and sorta helpful.  If I have one idol in my writing world, it would be Erma Bombeck.... speaking truth and making it relative to my readers.  I am not afraid to be self-depracating, but I also realize that folks may not always want to read about my life.  However, I do believe that there are large parts of my life that are highly representative of the lives of my "peer group." Whether it's enough to try and find more people to "read all about it" is up for debate.
• I do see the need for and think I could do something about focusing my blogging efforts on some specific things... as in, narrow down the brain vomit and focus on things like a "Travel Tuesday" or "Whiny Wednesday."  I don't know.... I feel like the appeal of writing all of this to me is the randomness and inspiration that I get from every day stuff.  All that I've read about blogging assumes that you are selling or creating products (printables, programs, etc) for consumption or that you are on a journey through weight loss, cancer, adoption, divorce.  I kinda like being a dabbler; a little of this and a little of that.  I have always felt if I can't be an example, I should be a warning. But dabbling may just muddy the message.
• I like politics and current events, and although I don't spend a lot of time discussing them on the blog, there still needs to be a place for them.  I think....

So.... those of you who read regularly, or even read other blogs regularly, I guess I have a couple of specific questions for you and am honestly seeking feedback as to how I should proceed.  Do I stay as is, or do I put myself out there and attempt to capitalize on all the brainy goodness and life experience I can impart.  Ultimately, what I decide to do needs to feel right and genuine to me, but you can't always trust your own press.  So, I'm turning to you.  Please take a minute, answer the questions below and email me at bekpierce@gmail.com with any input you have.  And yes, I know that Blogger and other programs can do a lot of this for me... but crunching numbers and data has never been my strong suit and I love words.... so talk to me people!

1. How did you hear about this blog?
2. How often do you check to see if there's an update? 
3. Do you subscribe to this blog or others?
4. Do you like the content? Is it relatable or enjoyable to read?
5. How do you feel about the writing itself? I know I'm generally a wordy person.... that's a lot how I process things.
6. Have you, or would you, be willing to share these blog posts with folks you know?
7. Would you like to see more specificity in posts, i.e. travel, event planning, life lessons.....
8. What is your favorite post?  Why did you like it?  Thinking this may help me find a focus.
9. Finally, any other productive comments you'd care to make would be appreciated.  We do not have to share the same opinions... but I'm looking for feedback on blog itself and not specifically on content.

Thanks in advance for any feedback you provide.  This is kind of a leap of faith for me.  Folks are always telling me that I should write a book.  Erma Bombeck wrote 15 books and a newspaper column for years.... Do I dare stick my neck out and try to promote myself?  I don't know, but I do know that I want to be done with this mid-life identity crisis and maybe this is a way out?!

#LightTheWorld Day Twenty-Five - Jesus's Disciples Followed Him and So Can We

In our mortal lives, we are blessed by the opportunity we have to follow Jesus Christ.  

Following someone requires lots of attributes.  

The biggest and most important of these traits is humility.  

In our mortal existence, we are often times left to our own devices to make decisions.  

There is no shortage of material in the world that can teach us the things we need to know to make the most of our mortal experience; even if it's only to remind us that we need a plan.  

We must decide which way to go.  

It is important that we look for the path that has been prepared for us. 

We have friends that will help us along the path.

The best stories in life take us on a journey.  

The best journeys in life are those on which we can learn and grow.  

I love the story of Ruth and Naomi.  

None of us makes it through this life on our own.  

Family, friends, leaders, teachers and our Savior make it possible to stay on the path.

Our earth life is the ultimate journey and we are blessed to be able to follow the best leader there is.

We need to learn to recognize the voice of our Shepherd and then learn to follow Him.

We need to magnify our callings, love our neighbors, serve our family and friends and glorify the name of God.  We need to live as examples and disciples of Christ so that 

those who know us will want to know Him, because they know us.

#LightTheWorld Day Twenty-Four - Jesus Cared for His Loved Ones and So Can You

Day Twenty-Four.  So very close to actually completing this goal I set for myself.  This has been an awesome experience for me and I hope that there have been a few things said that have touched those who read this blog; even if it's just my mom realizing that I do appreciate all the sacrifices she made on my behalf and that I too seek to be the "meanest mom" who loves her kids the most!

I actually really love this quote because it takes into consideration the fact that our tribe may consist of more and varied folks than just our families.  There are people that are sent into our lives for reasons that we may not be able to comprehend.  People that present themselves in your life when you are not looking for new relationships, or when you can't see and understand the benefit that they can bring into your life.  But, I have found if we will have an open mind, an accepting heart and a willingness to serve, that our lives are infinitely blessed by the associations that we have with the people in our lives.

Along the path of life, we encounter folks that change our lives for good.  There have been lots of little things in my life that have made a big difference and I want to talk about a few of them today.  Generally, I'm staying away from most of my family members.... not because I don't love them, but because I generally talk about them a lot and there's a degree of duty tied to our relationship.  These wonderful examples are some of the people in my life that have touched me the most.  They are in no particular order other than the warm fuzzy feelings that I have felt as I have reflected on my relationships and have counted my blessings.

• Deanna Ball.  This spunky gal married my cousin.  Coincidentally it was the day Princess Diana died, just so you know.  We don't live close to each other, but thanks the the Internet and the wonder of email, we spent a great deal of time communicating back and forth while we were pregnant with our kids.  Our oldest girls have stayed good friends and I'm excited that Marisa is coming to stay for a few days over the Christmas break.  We went to Yellowstone with their family this summer and had a great time.  This is what I love about Deanna..... she is just as irreverent as me and cracks me up!  She is an awesome mom who is SOOOO real and she expects her kids to tow the line.  She sets high standards for her family, she supports her husband in his career as a State Trooper even though it means he's gone a lot.  She's my bargain shopping idol, she loves to take her family on adventures (they did a 10-week cross-country tour in an RV last year), she's done roller derby and I know that if I'm struggling as a mom, that she will understand.  Just to give you an idea of her sense of humor, this was the picture from their Christmas card this year.

That's her and Snoop Dog.  She writes "I'm kind of a big deal" and the seal on the back of the       envelope said "Snoop and Deanna."  We are still laughing over this!

• Lisa Astling.  I know I've mentioned this lady before.  Through dumb luck or divine intervention, we were blessed to move into the neighborhood about the same time and our kids ages line up roughly.  We got to know each other because we were assigned to be Visiting Teaching companions, but I'll tell you that despite the fact that I pretty much suck in that capacity, Lisa is the real deal and a true friend.  She has saved my bacon too many times to count: helping with school projects, watching kids, forgiving us when one of our children (who shall remain nameless) pooped in her back yard, made me dinner (pre-portioned servings of soup to heat up while recovering from surgery), and a slew of other things that are too numerous to name.  She is generous with her time and her resources and is a friend that I know I can count on to love me and my family no matter what.  I would do anything for this lady.... ANYTHING.
• Heather McEwan.  I've known this girl almost as long as I've been alive.  I've talked about her a lot and there's still more I could say.  But I'll keep it short by saying she is loving and kind, looks for the best in everyone, believes that everyone is inherently good, and is a big fan of the "put your big girl panties on...." approach.  She gets stuff done and has the luxury of being one of the few people in my life that can be totally honest with me and know that I will still talk to her.  We are very different but we are also eerily similar.  She holds me accountable and is always there to remind me of just how long we've known each other and to provide incentives to behave because she knows all the skeletons in my closet.  A healthy dose of fear and accountability in a friendship isn't necessarily a bad thing.
• Lisa Forbush.  I really can't articulate what this lady means to me.  When she moved to my neighborhood, I could have never predicted the positive role that she would play in my life.  I remember one night at book club when we were talking about anything and everything not related to books, and I made the comment that I loved it when she said hi to me at church because I felt like I wasn't invisible.  Now, you probably didn't know that I feel this way sometimes, but like everyone, I get caught up in my own life and sometimes feel like nobody notices.  And I'm going to admit here that sometimes, even though I know better, it is hard for me to want to go to church.  I like it fine, I know it's true, I like my ward and I don't expect that to change anytime soon.... but sometimes I feel like it has to be a really good meeting to justify being better than no meeting at all.  I need an attitude adjustment... anyway.... these feelings often lead me to feel like I hover around the edges.  You add this to all my parenting and wifely insecurities, and sometimes church is an exercise in keeping my head down and trudging along.  Well, Lisa changed all that because she is ALWAYS there with a smile and a hug for me.  And it has made the biggest difference in my life.  She is shoulder I cry on when I have a meltdown (which happens more than it should) and she is always the one to call and check on me or send a note when she thinks about me.  I am so grateful to be on Lisa's radar.
• Jackie Smith.  This girl "does fun."  She was one of the first ladies to welcome us to the neighborhood and she is always there with a friendly wave and a smile.  She is fun and upbeat and positive and understands the value of a well-timed Diet Coke.  If I go missing from scheduled activities, she is the first to text and see how I am and what I need.  She loves to travel and is always up for an adventure.
• Tiffin Tullis and Michelle Morris.  These moms rock!  I use them as guideposts in my life and they are never too busy to answer questions that I have about the way school works, how to handle a particular situation, to commiserate with or to love my kids.  There's nothing better than sitting around a table with these ladies and laughing until we cry or pee..... mostly the former but not ruling out the latter.  These terrific women have taught me not to sweat the small stuff, while still being committed to fighting the mama-bear fight.  Can't imagine life without them.
• Kim Barton.  Oh my..... can't say enough about Kim.... when I laugh with her it almost always is hard enough to make me pee.  She is seriously one of the FUNNIEST people I know, but she is also one of the most grounded, self-sacrificing and service oriented ladies around.  She has always been around to indulge my crazy PTA/YW ideas.  She shows up with bagels from Einsteins and makes very unique birthday gifts.... we'll leave it at that.  She sends my girls awesome Snap Chats and they (we all) love the Barton family beyond words.  Plus, she's an excellent cook and someday, we're going to bump off Martha Stewart and get legit about our party planning.

Now, this is not an exhaustive list by any stretch of the imagination.  In fact, if I am able to keep up my blogging momentum, I may make 2017 the year that I get to brag about my awesome girlfriends.  Everyone needs a shout out every now and then.  Like so many others, these ladies fill my bucket and help to give me the strength and fortitude to press forward.  It takes a village and thank heavens I have a good one.

#LightTheWorld Day Twenty-Three - Jesus Was a Peacemaker and You Can Be One Too

**this is a disclaimer.... this post was actually written previously and then it got lost.  I am going to attempt to recreate the magic, but it may not be as awesome as it was.   So sorry.**

In my younger, more confrontational years, the concept of being a peacemaker was completely foreign to me.  I liked to stir the pot and I enjoyed the discussions and events that often followed my attempts to mix things up.  However, as I have mellowed a bit with age, I have started to see the merit of peace and a desire to coexist.  Contention in the home, or anywhere else for that matter, makes me uncomfortable and I can understand why we are asked to be peacemakers.

In the Sermon on the Mount, Christ said:

"Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God."  And that thought got me to having a few deep, existential thoughts about reciprocity.  If we are peacemakers, we shall be known as children (followers) of God.  Following this logic, since we know that we are children (followers) of God, we are expected to be peacemakers.  Being a child of God is an awesome blessing and knowledge that I have never doubted; but knowing that, it is interesting to think that I have this new responsibility that accompanies my position.

Now, I like a good argument as much as anyone.... sometimes just for the sake of discussion and this may add to my apparent reluctance as a peacemaker.  I would say that as I have grown and matured, I can definitely see the merits and benefits of peace, but sometimes I still struggle with the humility to plant my feet firmly toward peace.

It's a funny thing.... so many of the virtues and characteristics of Christ that I have discussed this month are so similar.  Sometimes, I have thought it to be a bit difficult to try and elaborate on a specific trait and to come up with something unique to say.  However, as I began to look at this topic and to think about what I wanted to say, I had two thoughts.  The first is the one up above about God expecting His children to be peacemakers.  The second thought I had was just as eye-opening for me:

Being a peacemaker is different than being a peacekeeper.

This hit me hard.  To my mind, the value of peace and contentment in our lives is ever changing and evolving.  You need to have one before you can have the other, but I was struck by the contrast between these two terms.  To "make peace" is to actively seek it.  To keep peace is to protect the efforts of others; in other words "don't screw it up."  Both of these virtues are good and are necessary in our frail human relationships.... but one is definitely a higher and more complex calling.

Following this logic, I would say that at this point in my life I have evolved to the point of peacekeeping.  Most often, I am not interested in trying to stir the pot and create contention; but I am not yet at a point where I routinely seek peace for the sake of peace and for the blessing of those in my life.

I want to take a minute and discuss the idea of actively choosing peace in our lives.  Choosing to make peace, to put another's need and comfort above our own can be a hard thing.  As followers of Christ, we are asked to love our fellow men and peace and goodwill are part of that.  One of the things that I think delays the peacemaking process, at least for me, is the fact that it requires work.  Oftentimes I think we feel like if something is to be peaceful, it should just naturally happen.  It rarely happens like this.  In my experience, seeking to make peace for and with those around me, requires that my life often becomes less peaceful.  Being a peacemaker requires a degree of sacrifice on my part, and I think that is why we get hung up on seeking this path.

Being a peacemaker is an active process; it's deliberate.  Being a peacekeeper is often a reactive process; we don't seek to create it, but we adopt a kind of "do no harm" attitude in dealing with those around us.  As you know, I try very hard to be an active and conscious participant in life.  I hate having my fate determined by the will of someone else.  Oftentimes this stubbornness has gotten me into trouble, but regardless, I maintain that life is better when we are actively seeking the will of our Heavenly Father and trying to live in accordance with his wishes for us.  Acting versus reacting.

Over the last year, I have become familiar with a short poem by William Ernest Henley. It is entitled Invictus and I discovered it when our family friend Colton Hadley died.  This was his mantra.

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeoning of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds, and shall find me, unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

There is so much good material in this, but the part I like best is the last stanza:

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul.

We are the masters of our fate and we are tasked with choosing our path back to our Heavenly Father.  In my life, and in my experience, that requires love and charity toward those around me and it requires that I am continually active in seeking peace.... even when it may come at a cost to me.

Recreating this next section of the post is a lot like trying to get lightening to strike twice.  I was really happy with the way my previous post had turned out, but I'm not sure I have the words and the mental acuity to write it again.  So, here's the Reader's Digest version.

In our ward, we have a house owned by the Church.  It has been inhabited over the years by several visiting authorities and their families.  From time to time, we are blessed to be taught by these wonderful folks.  There have been great doctrinal discussions, to be sure, but my favorite part about getting to know some of these families is that you watch them struggle with many of the same things that most of us struggle with.  Learning to commit to callings and to be faithful in serving; trying not to be weary in well-doing.  I love listening to stories about raising families and realizing that they know no more about the whole process than I do.  It is refreshing.

So, with Christmas being a Sunday this year, we had a church service, but it was shortened to allow for the most important bits of our worship; renewing our covenants and being edified through music and words.  Our current General Authority in residence, Elder Valeri Cordon and his wife Glenda spoke to us and gave such powerful talks.  So powerful that I actually took notes; which is saying something because the three magic words of Christmas "some assembly required" had kept us up until nearly two in the morning.  But that is another story for another day.  I just quickly wanted to touch on a few thoughts that I had listening to their talks.

First, Sister Cordon talked about giving our best and I think this definitely applies to being a peacemaker.  We often can learn to keep the peace, but taking that next step and actively seeking and working toward peace requires significant effort and sacrifice on our part.  To this end, Sister Cordon reminded us that we ought to give the best of ourselves to the Lord, because He has given the best of Himself to us.  I had never really thought about this concept in such simple terms before.  We are called and reminded to "be a little better" all the time.  We learn and we grow and we try to perfect ourselves; by our efforts and through the grace of God.  The thoughtful reassurance that he requires and deserves our best efforts was a much needed realization for me.  I know from time to time that I have a tendency to feel picked on and when I feel like that, I want to let everyone know; which let's be honest, isn't a very peaceful thing.

So, making peace often requires us to stretch and to grow.  It requires sacrifice on our part.  When I am presented with a situation where I feel the need to step in and serve others, many times my experience becomes the opposite of peaceful; it can be hectic.  At these times, it is tempting (at least to me) for the purposes of self-preservation to retreat into my own life and leave everyone to their own devices.  However, if I think about this, I know that I have been given God's best and therefore, he deserves mine in return  He desires that I act; that I serve those around me and that I try to make peace; not just keep it.  Admittedly, this is hard and my better nature does not always win. At some point in the future, I will be required to repent of some less than charitable feelings I have experienced of late.... and although they may be legitimate, they are, I realize, not helpful.

So here's the other tidbit that I got in church yesterday.  This was in Elder Cordon's talk and had a lot to do with words.  I am definitely what you would call a "word nerd."  Why use three when you can use seven?  And why stick to the boring same words when a thesaurus can be your very best friend?  Anyway, Elder Cordon in talking about God and his active creation of the earth and our existence related the scripture found in John 1:1:

 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

This is the English version of the scripture.  As he talked about this, he reminded us that much of the Spanish-speaking people of the Church have used the Reina Valera version of the bible as it has historically been seen to translate the original ideas and lessons of the scriptures more accurately.  From time to time, the different translations offer insight in the words that are used.  According to Elder Cordon, when we read this same scripture, it translates roughly as follows:

 In the beginning was the VERB, and the VERB was with God, and the VERB was God.

Now, in language a verb is an action word; it requires us to act.  So to me, this says that God's word is God's work.  We need to be active in pursuing that which God would have us do.  If we are His children (and we know we are) then we need to actively pursue the making of peace.  It is not easy, and fortunately for all of us, we have a lifetime to learn these lessons and gain this ability.  However, after the experience I have had thinking and reflecting on knowing and doing what God has asked me to, I know that I can no longer be content to react or to be acted upon.  "I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul."

I'm in charge.  I need to follow Christ's example and try to make peace with those around me.  I need to learn to be more humble and more teachable.  I need to try harder to turn the other cheek and to forgive seventy times seven.  I need to look for opportunities to express my gratitude and help those around me in the ways I feel prompted to by the Spirit.  I will seek after peace, not only for my benefit, but to benefit those around me and to offer the very best of myself to my Father in Heaven and my Savior Jesus Christ.