Here's the Skinny...

I'm not. Contrary to what all those "experts" say, Diet Coke is not what's making me fat. Neither, apparently, is McDonald's food. I have just finished my month-long hiatus from the Golden Arches and I'm proud to say that it was a success.... mostly. I caved last week and took Jack to Apollo Burger for a grilled cheese (not McDonald's, obviously, but a drive-thru, nonetheless.) I also had a brief lapse on Thursday, but if you read Wednesday nights post, you may be able to sympathize. Jack woke up Thursday morning throwing up, and all the little guy wanted was pancakes at McDonald's. What's a mom to do? So, feeling like a jerk, I eased my trusty minivan into the drive-thru and placed our order. I'm ashamed to admit that the draw was too much for me and I ordered a Diet Coke for myself and an ever-so-delicious biscuit for breakfast. The taste of this manna from heaven was almost enough to make up for the slip, but then Jack didn't eat hardly any of his, so I caved for nothing!

What did I learn from this whole experience? That once I got over the initial shock of the experiment, it was totally doable. I'm sure that there will be times that I find myself at Mickey D's in the future (we are going on a trip with my family at the end of the month, after all) but as a crutch, I think I have the willpower to withstand it's siren song. However, IT IS a slippery slope, and not unlike your favorite 12-step program, my recovery is one day at a time. On the plus side, I saved nearly $120 from my drive-thru detox.

I have inspired myself however to continue and am also adding to my list. Since I got pregnant with Will, I have found myself buying baked goods like they're going out of style. I swear that I haven't met a (donut, cupcake, pastry) that I didn't like. I secretly think that this may be what's making me fat :) Let me be clear in my definition: I won't be BUYING baked goods, but anyone who wants to make me any of the aforementioned is welcome to. I do have a birthday coming up in May, after all.

If this goes well, I might have to totally throw down and add candy to the list. I know, I know.... I can't believe it myself.

P.S. McDonald's Diet Coke really does taste better than all the other alternatives. Gas station is close, and cans will do, but Mickey D's is the best!

I Fantasize About Being Alone, With a Book, and a Diet Sprite!

Okay, maybe it's a Diet Coke, but this is totally fantasy, and not my reality. Instead, I am sitting in my bed, between two little boys with enough snot between them to fill a rubber cement bottle and I'm taking quick, shallow breaths, trying to remind myself why I had kids. Honestly, the reasons escape me now.

Tag this post as therapy, but I've had it today. The boys are sick. Jack has allergies that have morphed into a monster cold and Will has the cold, but I think he has reflux besides. He's been really spitty for the last week, is almost hoarse now, and yesterday, started coughing up brown gunk. Not great for a three month old. Doctor put him on baby Zantac... yay! But the little guy is not happy. He cries everytime I put him down which makes dealing with his needy older brother a bit difficult. My day consisted of laying in bed with the boys watching Beyblade Metal Fusion with Jack while Will sneezed and spit up on me. Jealous??? Seriously, I hate anime! I hate that Jack loves it. It makes me want to stick my head in the oven.

Things didn't get any better when the girls got home from school. Today is Wednesday. That means children's choir. The girls hate going, and I'm not sure I can really blame them. I hated it too when I was a kid, but Matt tells them it's like vegetables; it's an acquired taste and someday they'll thank us. Anyway, ran the girls to choir, listening to them gripe the whole time. But guess what???? Totally don't care!

That's beginning to be a familiar thing at my house. I do way better at the first of the school year than I do at the last. Maybe it's the Homer in me, but I find myself seriously wanting to call my kids teachers and ask them if they're really not going to pass the third grade if they don't turn in half of their sloppy copy tomorrow. I hate the fact that we still have stuff to do.... I want school to be over, and I'm pretty sure I'm not alone in this. At this point, I don't really care if my kids get their homework turned in (don't tell them that!) I'll make sure that they're at school during their testing weeks, I may even feed them breakfast those days, but other than that, don't make me do anything else. I especially have an axe to grind about a class talent show at Erin's school. The music teacher, heaven bless her, announced to these kids two months ago (an eternity in grade school time) that they needed to put together some kind of talent to present to their peers tomorrow, April 28th. Erin and her various friends have been through so many versions of talents that I am ready to go postal at the mere mention of the words. Do you think I can convince her to sing a simple song? No! We've gone through dance, ventriloquism, art works and now we're working on magic tricks. Do we have an empty matchbox, a balloon, some string, and can I buy her a top hat with sequins? NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Who does she think she is, MacGyver?

Allie has to write a stupid 12 page story. I like the fact that her teacher spaces the deadlines out, but Allie won't do any of it by herself. She wants me to sit with her and read and re-read each sentence she writes! Newsflash!!! I don't care! So tonight we sit and sit and try to write and she is distracted by everything and it's driving me crazy.

They each have what seems like a million field trips coming up and why can't I chaperone all of them? It's not fair that we have a new baby and a brother who can't come. Why are they sick? Why isn't Dad home? It's not fair that we never get to do anything fun. Why can't we watch TV? Why do we have to have baths every night? Don't really know; don't really care!

Here is the underlying problem. I try too hard to be a good parent. I'm not the best; not by a long shot, but let me offer a little bit of advice to those of you with preschoolers. Pace yourself. Twelve years of public education is a long time. You peak too soon and you'll find yourself where I'm at. If I knew then what I know now, I would have fully embraced mediocrity and convinced everyone around me that I'm a flake. That way, no one would ask me to do anything. I'd be the one that got asked to provide the napkins for functions; nice to have, but you can do without them.

Two other random things that go with today.

Random Thing #1-In the middle of all the chaos that occurred tonight, Matt calls and says "I wish I was there to help." Sure you do, honey! I don't wish I was here tonight, so I don't blame you for enjoying a steak for dinner and a workout. I had tomato soup from a can and rocked the baby with my foot while I ate and screamed at kids.

Random Thing #2-When Allie came to get Emmett out of my bed to take him into her room, he wriggled around and growled at her. She put him on the floor and was just getting ready to stand back up, when Annie, hearing her compadre's call, did the closest thing to Dog Tag Team Wrestling I've ever seen. She jumped on Allie's back, while Emmett kicked her front. Freaking hilarious; but note to self, I shouldn't laugh at her pain. But I'm like that, I don't really care.

My great day ends when Erin comes to hug me goodnight for third time and I am screaming "DON'T TOUCH ME!" Unfortunately for her, she thought I was kidding.... but I wasn't! I am done and I'm hoping now that I have laid it all out for the world to read that I have calmed down enough to sleep, albeit with a dog and a sick 5-year-old!

Happy Wednesday everybody and to quote Clark W. Griswold, "Holy shit, where's the Tylenol?"

I Could Write a Sonnet About Your Easter Bonnet

Today we hosted our very first Annual Easter Bonnet Parade. We invited all the neighbors to come dressed in their Easter bonnets and come enjoy a fun time in the "sorta nice" weather. We had about 10 families show up, bring food, and we all got to chat for a while. The kids played on the trampoline and swingset, colored with chalk, blew bubbles and had hula hoop contests. It was so much fun, and overall, not too stressful. The girls enjoyed their bunny ears, while Jack wore his "chick magnet" hat, and Will went as a hatchling. Matt wouldn't let me get a picture of him with his chicken hat on, and I got crafty with the hot glue gun for mine, but didn't get a good photo.

Thanks to all who came. We will definitely plan on doing it again. Happy Easter all!

Off The Deep End

Okay, so it's really the deep middle, because it's a sport pool, so shallow on the ends and deep in the middle. The main question is, why did my parents put in a sport pool, because last time I checked, unless you count trying to slide your butt into the pool, onto a floatie, without getting your hair wet, there's not a whole lot of athletic activity going on in this pool. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me take you back, let's say 30 years or so ago.

If It Were Easy......

Anybody could do it.

Lately, life at our house has been a little rough around the edges. Dad is busy at work, (I mean REALLY BUSY!) We are heading down the home stretch of the school year which means that we have testing, programs, reading goals, etc.... not to mention parties, carnivals, and all the other things that go along with spring. Plus, we have a newborn, which is awesome, but time consuming. Now don't get me wrong, this post is not meant as a "pity party," quite the opposite in fact.

First things first. My husband. Love him! He is an awesome dad and a great husband. He always tries his hardest and doesn't do anything halfway. I have now officially known him for more than half my life, so I speak with some authority when I say that the guy is just too hard on himself. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought that was supposed to be my job! I always joke that along with all of the great lessons he learned while serving his mission in Mexico, he had his fun gene sucked out of him. He came home diligent, hardworking, dedicated, and a little too.... serious. Nothing makes me happier than seeing him laugh and I love to watch him find joy in the little things. Unfortunately, it seems like this is getting rarer lately.

He travels for work... A LOT. In fact, he probably spends more time in the company of J. Willard Marriott, than he does with us. The travel is not all bad. We used to go with him when the kids were younger, and since he sets his own schedule, the flexibility is awesome. When Will was born, he was able to be home until he was almost 6 weeks old. He is able to teach Spanish to Allie's class once a week. He sees most of Jack's programs and makes a lot of his cheese sandwiches. He is on the Community Council at Erin's school. These things wouldn't be possible if he had a regular 9 to 5 gig. However, this job also means that some weeks, he works 80+ hours on the road and then comes home to a 10-hour day on Friday. He has expenses, reports, prep for the next week and special projects to complete. Add the garden that needs to be planted, the deck that needs to be replaced and family relationships to be maintained, and it sometimes makes for a stressed-out daddy!

Today was one of those days. He was running late, trying to file an amended tax return, forgot to get his prescription filled, didn't have enough clean underwear due to a washer/dryer scheduling mix-up and had to pack clothes to work in three cities, with different climates, in three different days. Jack asked him to stay home, his car was nearly out of gas and the TSA.... oy vey. This post is mostly a shout-out to him, but in thinking about all of this today, it is really applicable to all of us. One of Matt's favorite quotes is by Teddy Roosevelt.

"Far and away the best prize that life has to offer is

the chance to work hard at work worth doing."

How lucky he is, and we all are, to have the opportunity to do things that matter.

Sometimes it is a struggle to remember this. Sometimes, we want to sit around and feel sorry for ourselves. It can be hard to remember that we must be challenged to become better. There is no question in my mind that I am a better person because of the hard times. I am grateful that every prayer my kids say includes gratitude for the time we're able to spend together as a family... I'm pretty sure that we wouldn't appreciate that as much if we didn't have time apart.

I am so glad that my husband is willing to work so hard and sacrifice so much for our family. Although it stinks that he can be gone so much, his good example to me and our children makes us all better.

In the end, a few quotes that I try to remember when things get rough.

Happiness is a form of gratitude.

To whom much is given, much is required.

Enjoy the journey!

And my all time favorite.....

Put your big girl panties on an deal with it!

So here's to all of you, and to me. Life is good. It can be hard sometimes, but if it were easy, anyone could do it! Be present in your life, own your decisions and your opportunities, and pay them forward.

Just Another Mundane Monday

Feel free to sing along, doing your best Bangles impression. However, my delicate sensibilities would prefer that we leave out the part about "your bedroom voice."

I know you've been waiting anxiously to find out how our Spring Break ended. Well, it still pretty much sucked. We spent the majority of the week at home doing things we do everyday; like video games, surfing the internet, doing the dishes, feigning an interest in the laundry and eating. We went and saw Hop and spent Friday at The Treehouse Museum in Ogden (where I took pictures, but left my camera!) On Saturday, I took Allie shopping for her Easter Dress and we rounded out the weekend by celebrating my niece Leah's birthday. I know, we're so hip you can hardly stand it. Don't you wish your life was awesome like mine?

The most exciting thing that happened to us over Spring Break was the addition of a new member of our family. Through the miracle of Facebook and thanks to my friend Nikki, we now have a miniature dachshund in our house. Welcome to Emmett. He has picked Allie as his person and all of the kids are having a great time snuggling with their newest pup. Annie seems to like him; even Matt is coming around, despite the fact that I brought him home without talking to him and while he was out of town :) Here Will poses with his new pet.... they get along great!

And now, onto today. For those of you keeping track, we are on Day 11 on the "no fast food" challenge. I really think I can do this. It hasn't been too bad. I'm not sure that I've noticed any extra cash floating around, although that may be due to the Case Lot Sale at Dick's Market last week. I did, however, lose 2 pounds, which my kids think is awesome. Jack is clinging to the hope that one day I will be skinny like his friend Nate's mom..... who am I to crush his innocent dreams? Eventually he'll learn, I guess. My only hope is that he thinks I'm cool enough to still like me when he figures out the truth.

Monday started with a trip to the vet. Young Emmett needed to take himself out of the puppy-making pool, if you know what I mean. He also got his teeth cleaned... yay!

I did 30 minutes on my elliptical, and I survived. I need some help with good workout music... any suggestions?

I fed and held the baby a bunch.... it seemed like every time I turned around. I had a shower; surprisingly hard some days.

I survived Costco with the boys, got gas in the van, drove the carpool, picked up the dog from the vet, took the girls to Activity Days, cleaned up dog poop, collected eggs, took out the garbage and made homemade pizza for dinner.

We've recently started a new thing at our house.... I washed both of my girls hair in the kitchen sink before bed. Who doesn't like a little scalp massage. Besides, I can control how clean their hair gets. Surprisingly, they really like it. I'm all for anything they like.

The highlight of my day today was having some "girl talk" with my neighbor Lisa. I love to sit and talk to her and it's especially fun when we're watching our little boys play outside. Today, they were collecting bugs. It's fun to see how easily they're amused.

At the end of the day, today was good. It is a day that I can stop, reflect on and count my blessings. I am so grateful for good kids; the ones who love each other, play together, watch out for each other and make me smile. I'm grateful for a good husband, who works hard, yet always takes the time to do the little things, like fix Erin's bike before he leaves. I'm grateful for supportive family members who help me be a better parent and a better person. I am grateful for good friends who make me laugh and who love my children.

Mundane; sometimes. But I wouldn't trade my life for anything.

A Note to My Neighbors and Passers-By

Things I know:

*It is 50 degrees outside and my kids are jumping on the trampoline in their swimsuits.
*They were playing with water out there too.
*They are loud.
*You can hear my dog barking from the street.
*I'm not a pretty sight to look at in my workout clothes.
*My chickens squawk very loudly when they lay an egg.
*My three oldest are walking by themselves to the grocery store as I type.
*My children look like orphans half of the time.
*I have great kids!


Things you should know:

*I believe in natural consequences. They'll come in when they're cold or injured.
*The warm bath they just took was the easiest one they've had in months.
*Well, duh, they're mine!
*She HATES the neighbors across the street; but they're weird and not friendly, so who can blame her?
*As long as I'm in my backyard, you can close your blinds, your eyes, or both!
*I'll share my eggs with you if you ask.
*They're trustworthy and a little independence is a good thing.
*They own matching clothes and have been taught the basics of personal grooming. They'll get it eventually.
*I have great kids!

Baseball, Snow Day & Johnny Depp ..... Oh My!

Yay for Spring Break! Just kidding... nothing is turning out right. We've had a few pleasant surprises so far, but it's not turning out the way we planned. Due to the baby and some rather extensive travel plans this summer, we decided that Spring Break would be a "Stay-cation." I have been planning what we are going to do for months now, which has led to some of the disappointment.

To begin the break, we stayed home and watched General Conference. This was great. Often we find ourselves out of town on Conference Weekend and the days are as hectic as any other. This year, we were home, and it was wonderful. We hung out as a family and enjoyed listening to the words of our modern day prophets. We finished the weekend having dinner with Matt's parents and enjoying a visit with them.

Monday morning, Jack had preschool, so he slept over at Grandma Homer's on Sunday night. This was really nice because I didn't have to get up and out of the house early like I normally do... Spring Break for me too! Taking advantage of a little Jack-free time, Allie and I took Will to Target to get pictures of him in his blessing outfit. If it seems like this kid has had more pictures taken of him than Lindsay Lohan, you would be right. I think he's on track to surpass Erin as the kid with the most baby pictures. Anyway, we HAD to get pictures of Will in his blessing outfit because I've got really cute ones of the other kids and didn't want him to be any different. Unfortunately for us, Kiddie Kandids, who took our other pics is out of business so Will's won't feature the same, cute chair. Erin dressed Will in a little baseball outfit and as an afterthought, Allie grabbed his Ted Williams bat from Uncle Greg and Aunt Sarah. When we got to the photo studio, they had lots of cute baseball stuff. So, Will got his picture taken in his baseball duds too. While I ended up spending a little bit more than I had planned (don't you always?) I got some really cute pics taken of our little guy! Count this in the pleasant surprise category.

After the pictures, we headed out to pick up Jack from school. The girls packed a picnic lunch and we ate and then headed to Seven Peaks Salt Lake (formerly Raging Waters) to redeem our "Pass of all Passes." If you haven't heard of this, it's an awesome deal and we hope to be able to use it tons this summer. Then we headed off to our first Spring Break adventure.

The Bingham Copper Mine (sounds way exciting, doesn't it?) Well at the very least, I thought it would be awesome for the kids to see it. I've heard it's amazing. I've also heard that I've been there before, but I don't remember it. Well guess what? Because it snowed on Sunday, the visitor's center was closed! I checked the hours; I did my research and we drove ALL THE WAY OUT THERE AND THE BLASTED PLACE WAS CLOSED! UGGHHHH! My darling little children had nothing positive to say about the experience and to say I was bummed would be an understatement. Well, what to do?

We went to see Rango. Jack picked the movie. The rest of us wanted to go and see Hop, despite the fact that the girls had already seen it with Grandma. Jack, in keeping with his poopy attitude, refused to go, and being the weak parents we were, we caved and went to Rango. I have to say, I really liked it. I don't know that I would recommend it for little kids, as many of the jokes are geared towards adults, but the characters were great and Johnny Depp never fails to impress me with his versatility. The only thing that shocked me was the use of the H-E-double hockey sticks word more times than I would care to mention. At any rate, with movie popcorn and Diet Coke, how bad can the day be?

By the way, for those of you who are curious, we are now five days into April and I haven't been to McDonald's once. I have not, as yet, suffered from the shakes, but I am finding myself having to consciously remind myself not to pull my car into their parking lot. Five down, twenty-five more to go.

When we got home, I decided that the grass needed to be cut. Granted, it's not growing much, but the crabgrass is driving me nuts! Why is this the only thing that grows until June? Hate it! Want to dig out my whole front lawn and start over, but that's probably not going to happen. Well, Matt and I have been talking about teaching Erin to mow the lawn this year. So, there's no time like the present. I opened the garage, pulled out the mower, started it up and showed her how. And guess what??? She finished the whole thing! We may have to wait a year or two until she can edge, but it's so nice to have a little person to turn this over to. Put this in the pleasant surprise category.

Since I know your eyes are probably bleeding from reading about my boring life, I'll try to keep this next part short. The weather is conspiring against us. I don't think we're going to be able to finish out my list of activities for Spring Break.. too cold and crappy driving conditions. We will therefore be confined to museums and home, and by default Lego Batman, Barbie games on the computer and more Scooby-Doo movies on Netflix than I care to mention. But, we're happy and we're together. Matt is home this week (mostly) and we're getting a bit of planning done on backyard projects and the like. Taking it easy might be kind of fun, who knows?

Stay tuned for a wrap up of the week coming to a computer near you!

Drive-Thru Detox

So in the interest of full disclosure, I am admitting my greatest weakness for all the world to see. I have a problem. I love McDonald's. Not the food so much, but the ease and convenience, and the bite and the burn of their...... Diet Coke! In thinking about this, I have decided that I definitely have an emotional attachment to the place. For example, I remember my 4th birthday; picture me and all my friends transported to the Granger McDonald's. We took some sort of a tour (I think) had a burger, a visit from Ronald, cake and presents... does it get better than that? Fast forward 12 years and after a fairly messy break-up with a high-school boyfriend, where does my dad take me for a heart-to-heart? The golden arches on 17th South and Redwood Road. On my wedding day, after standing in the June sun for two hours taking pictures, where did we head for a drink on our way to the wedding breakfast... the McDonald's on North Temple. There are many other experiences I could site, most recently a friendship with a young man, Oscar, who worked the window at my Centerville store, but I won't. The point is, I have a problem.

For the last couple of years, Matt has been trying to convince me to give up my habit, but let's analyze this a bit. Despite the fact that I could have made a mortgage payment with what I spent at McDonald's last year, I love being able to swing in, place my order and get my fix, all without having to haul the kids out of the car. Now I know, the food pretty much sucks, but like I said, my infatuation lies in the soda fountain portion. My own personal exception to the questionable food is breakfast. It's not so bad, and they will always customize a biscuit the way I like; they don't always get it right, but they try. With the girls in school all day, and Jack and I driving to preschool five days a week, I am embarrassed to say that he can probably count on two hands the mornings we haven't had pancakes for breakfast since school started. I started to think I had a problem when he started refusing cereal and toast at home on the weekends because he was holding out for a trip to the golden arches. It was confirmed beyond a shadow of a doubt when I found myself in line at the drive-thru for the fourth (yeah, you read that right) FOURTH time of the day around 4 pm yesterday. I had already given Jack breakfast and lunch there, and was now stopping by for a Diet Coke and ice cream for our afternoon snack. I guess I justify it by telling myself that we don't actually eat a lot of fried foods (my kids don't really care for french fries) and lately all Jack wants is the toy anyway. How much can it hurt that we're having a little together time in a parking lot while waiting for the girls to finish at gymnastics?

Well, here's the problem.... take away the money, although that should have been a motivating factor all along. Time was, eating out was a rarity. When my parents were young, I would venture to say they rarely, if ever, ate out. When I was a kid, I remember eating out as a child; with instances increasing as my brothers and I got into high school and busy with all that life has to offer teenagers these days. Now, my kids think eating out is a way of life. I guess if you look at the headlines and stories on childhood obesity, it is all too often a way of life. So, I finally get it. I admit it. I am taking a stand!

For the month of April, I am vowing to myself, and to you, that you will not find me going through the drive-thru at McDonald's, or any other fast food restaurant, for that matter. I am curious to see whether I notice the extra couple of bucks floating around, and seeing whether my daily visits really impact the scale that much, or whether I make up for them in other ways. The bottom line (there seems to be one in every single one of my posts) is that I need to set the example, and despite the good times that I have had courtesy of Ray Kroc and company, I am going to take a break and try to gain some perspective.

Now, I'm going to go to bed and hope that I still have friends tomorrow. Writing this post is akin to the dream where you show up at school naked... now it's all out there for everyone to see.... how pathetic am I? I hope you still like me. And just to be clear, I will not now, nor ever, be giving up Diet Coke, so don't ask.