Rebekah's Random Remainders

These are the important things that have happened that either don't fit with the rest of everything, or that there's not enough info to have it's own post.  I know there are lots of people who write short, succinct posts..... but obviously, that's not me.  I like to force my readers to march along my path with me.

I guess I'll start with back to school.  This should probably have it's own post, but honestly, past the kids posing by the tree for a picture on Day One, going back to school has been pretty low-key for everyone except for William.  He started kindergarten this year.  And he was super excited to go to Jack's school..... until it was actually time for him to go.  Allie and Jack both had friends to head to school with on the first day of school.  We also had our Neighborhood Breakfast.... but I didn't get any great pictures.

In addition to the opening social behind the school, Will had a kindergarten open house where he did a scavenger hunt around the school.  And then he had his assessment.... where his teacher meets with him one on one to see what he knows and where he should be placed.  And then.... no more school for the rest of the week for William.

Fast forward to the next Monday and it was time to go to school.  Mrs. Guest (Will's teacher) emphasized that the kids were not to line up more than 10 minutes ahead of time.  As we walked down the hallway, I noticed that the lights in the classroom were off; not a good sign.  We went through the kindergarten cloak room and went to get in line in back of the school.  This is where we separate the old from the new parents.  Folks like me, only got out and walked their kid back because it's the first day.  We are looking forward to three blissful childfree hours.  We've got stuff to do!  Then there were the noobs.  Mom, Dad and younger siblings.... even grandparents.  And they were snapping pictures and taking video.  After a few minutes, the kids started to line up against the wall and the documenting continued.  After what seemed like an eternity, the teacher and her aide came out to greet the kids.  She had name tags for all of them and quite the production was made about issuing them to the children.  At this point, Will was nervous and was talking about not wanting to go to class.  And then, we had to have a welcome speech.  By the time the kids were marching in, Will was sobbing and had to be pried off of me.  Obviously, we have different strategies when it comes to "ripping the band-aid off."  Needless to say, we had a few tense days, but I think Will has finally got going to school down.

Now, let's talk about school dances.  Actually, we won't really talk about them because they haven't happened yet.... but Erin was asked to TWO different Homecoming dances, by TWO different boys, on the SAME DAY.  This is a new thing for me.... I went to some school dances, but certainly never had multiple offers.  Of course, that meant TWO dresses and TWO pairs of shoes.  Now I just have to order TWO boutonnieres, and we'll be in business.

Tessa gets to come and play at our house again this year.  She will be here on Tuesdays and Thursdays.... which is so fun for Will and almost just as fun for me.  She's my little sidekick and is always up for an adventure.  Right before school started, we finally got the chance to do lunch and Build-a-Bear that we had planned for the last week of school before she was sick.  She and William had a fantastic time.

 

So glad we get to have this little ray of sunshine keep coming to our house.  Tomorrow is her birthday and we're going to welcome "5" in a big way!

And now, Pax.  Our favorite black dog is not doing so well.  His arthritis is getting the better of him and he is in pain most of the time.  He whines and wimpers.  He struggles to get down the stairs and out the door.  He's not eating as much as he should and it makes all of us sad.  Plus, he's started having accidents in the house.... which is never fun.  I don't think he'll probably be with us too much longer.

Speaking of accidents in the house, we have had an episode as of late that we have been blaming on the dogs.  Specifically, Matt called while I was in St. George to let me know that Millie (our Yorkie) had been peeing under Will's bed.  That the floor was soaked with urine.  Okay, Millie pees like a teaspoon, but it could happen I suppose.  As the night went on and Matt began to shampoo the carpets, it came out that it was, in fact, Will peeing on the carpet.... because he didn't want to walk down the hall.  And then.... it came out that there were a few occasions where both of my boys decided that urinating from the top bunk would be acceptable.  Ughhhhh.... I would seriously be better with them peeing in my front yard.  This is killing me!  So, in Matt's words, "the boys' bedroom smells like a latrine."  Thank goodness for Scentsy and that wonderful clean breeze scent wafting down my hallway.

Biker Gangs.... bear with me.  When I was in St. George with my friends last weekend, there was a lot of discussion about motorcycles.  Every single one of my friends husbands have a motorcycle.  They kept saying, "Matt should get a bike and then they can all go ride together."  Maybe at some point in the past, Matt would have considered it.... but not now.  He is too practical.  Well.... it's a good thing I'm not.  Saturday afternoon, as I was doing my grocery shopping, I saw a FB post advertising Shirley.  My neighbor down the street was getting rid of her.  How could I not jump on that one?

She needs a little love, but she will be so much fun once she's ready for her close-up.  The girls are giddy thinking that they're going to get to drive her.... but no, she's mine.  And the fact that she's named Shirley, it was just meant to be.  That was my Grandma's name.  So, I'm going to take a motorcycle course, get me a special license and a freaking awesome helmet.  More than this, I'm thinking that this might be a project that Matt and I could work on together.  Who knows, if it goes well, we might have found a new hobby.

One final event that I want to post about is Colton.  Colton Hadley lived down the street from us.  His parents and siblings are some of the best people I have ever had the pleasure of meeting.  Brooklyn and Erin have been fast friends since we moved here ten years ago and Brooklyn's older brothers have been great examples to my kids.  Heck, Ty took it upon himself to make sure my attention-challenged daughter made it home from school every day in the first grade.  Well in January, tragedy struck their family and Colton passed away from an accidental overdose.  He had been fighting drug demons for a while and was looking like he had turned a corner.  But then, that's always the way of it, it seems.  Every time I hear a story on the news about opioid addiction, I think about Colton and the sadness that his passing has imparted on our neighborhood.

As I listened to the stories told about him immediately after his death, and mourned with so many at his funeral, I was reminded how grateful I am for the knowledge that I have about eternal families.  I am so thankful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ and that because of Him, we too can overcome death.  I am grateful for the simple knowledge I have that I am a child of God and that this divine designation allows for me to grow and learn on this earth.  I know that Colton was a child of God; and that he was known and loved by his Heavenly Father.  

Colton's funeral was one that touched the depths of my soul.  Despite the sadness and despair that I know was felt by everyone in attendance, it was so clear that Rock and Elizabeth (Colton's parents) had absolutely modeled Christlike love in their home.  I was so touched by the idea that goodbye is not forever; but more than that, that Colton knew he was loved, by so many.  Colton's passing served as a reminder of the fickle and fleeting nature of life.  Life is too short.... tell those you love most how you feel.

There were several thoughts given at Colton's funeral that were so perfect in describing his quest in life and the impact his short life had on those around him.  One of my favorites is from a song in the musical "Wicked".  Colton is truly with us, "like a handprint on our hearts."  And the program referenced it as well when is said "because we know you, we have been changed for the better."  Life is definitely not without struggles, but it is important to remember to honor the good while mourning the sad.

The program also featured the poem Invictus by William Ernest Henley.

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul.

Colton's obituary also featured a line from the J.R.R. Tolkien "The Lord of the Rings" series.  I especially loved this one.

"All that is gold does not glitter, 

not all those who wander are lost; 

The old that is strong does not wither, 

Deep roots are not reached by the frost."  

Friday, September 9 would have been Colton's 22nd birthday.  There was a challenge in our neighborhood to try and find ways to honor Colton's memory and to hopefully show support to his family; that they would know that they are not forgotten and that he is not forgotten.  Rock and Elizabeth never hesitate to give and serve those around them.  So several of us decided that we would try and find ways to honor Colton's memory and to show the rest of the Hadley's how much we love them.

There were lots of fun service projects that I heard about; roses for widows in the neighborhood, pet toys for the animal shelter.  There were several others that I didn't hear about, but I know were done.

Our family chose to honor Colton in a couple of different ways.  First, we bought doughnuts to deliver to some of our first responders; the firefighters and police officers that all sped down and gathered on our street that cold January morning.  Our neighbor, and SDMF Chief Jeff Bassett came tearing down our street that morning and leaving his car parked at crazy angle and the engine running, stayed with the Hadley family for three hours that morning.  

So we took doughnuts to two of the fire stations that sent responders.  We are so grateful to live in a community where people truly enjoy serving each other.

The baked good yumminess is right there in that there box.

The next thing we did to honor Colton's memory was to donate a complete set of J.R.R. Tolkien's books to the homeless shelter.  Not a super huge gesture, but hopefully meaningful to those who will read the books.

And then, just because I thought it would make some mom's day, we went to our local gas station and paid for drinks for ten people.  The clerks gave the recipients a copy of our Colton card, and Allie found out that her friend's neighbor was one of the lucky ones who had their drink paid for.  Hopefully, they'll pay it forward.

On Friday morning, we took a bunch of small stones that we'd painted with hearts and "C's" and spread them around at the trail head that Colton improved as part of his Eagle Scout project.

 

And then, the last gift that came from our household was a portrait of Colton drawn by Erin.  I hope they know it was a labor of love and that their family is never far from our thoughts.

The final thought on the program for Colton's funeral was:

"In honor of Colton, please leave footprints of love and kindness wherever you go."

Find Your Tribe

The older I get, the more important friends become.  I'm not just talking about the friends who you "do lunch" with or go to the midnight showing of The Hunger Games with (although these ladies are some of my very favorites!)  I'm talking about the kind of friends who bring you a month's worth of soup in 4 oz. portions because you're on a liquid diet.  The one who will sneak into your house and do your laundry while you're at your grandma's funeral, and clean out the science fair project growing in your fridge while you're out of the country.  They are the friends who will be there when you have lost every ounce of cool or dignity you ever possessed.  They will try and help you figure out how to nurse a baby and will sit beside you when you decide on a whim to get some random piercing at 40.  These are also the same women who can talk you down and build you up.  These friends are honest (sometimes brutally honest) but there is never a question that they love you.  Neither of you would tolerate the other if it wasn't love.

One of my very favorite quotes about friendship is on the wall in my craft room.  When we were getting the cabinets and countertops installed, I heard the installers making fun of it.  I kinda wanted to run in and kick them in the shins; but since I don't know how to install countertops, I restrained myself.  Anyway, the quote says:

"A friend is someone who knows 

the song in your heart, 

and can sing it back to you 

when you have forgotten the words."

Life is hard and it sometimes feels like it goes on F-O-R-E-V-E-R!  And in all of the hustle, bustle, crap and confusion of life, it's nice to know that there are people on your journey with you.  When I picked this quote, I was thinking of my friend Heather.  We have been through so much together and although she ALWAYS sings louder than me, we're singing the same song.... and it's nice to have someone who reminds me why I am on my journey.  I am so grateful that I have had the opportunity to encounter some dang awesome women in my life!

Just last weekend, I had the opportunity to retreat with a few of my favorites to sunny St. George.  We had planned a blissfully boring weekend that involved a lot of naps, some food, a little crafting, shopping and some culture.

Overall, 2016 has been a busy/crazy year for all of us.  Moving cross-country, selling homes, health problems, kid problems, marriage problems, uncertainty, crows feet and urinary incontinence: we've pretty much experienced it all this year.  So we needed a break, a retreat.  Labor Day weekend was going to be ours!  First and foremost, let me say thanks to hubbies and kiddos for holding down the forts while we got away to fill our buckets.

Now it's kind of ridiculous, because the entire back of the van was filled with stuff.... but we had so much fun.  By the time we cleared Provo it was 9:30 p.m. and we still had a lot of driving ahead of us.  But honestly, there's nothing better than road trips with girlfriends; there's no fighting over the radio/DVD player, they bring their own snacks, and chances are they will take the opportunity to use the bathroom when the opportunity presents itself instead of when your 10 minutes past said opportunity.

We got to St. George at 1:30 a.m. and the scene was a combination of Girls Camp for Grown-ups meets Oprah's Favorite Things!  I had been hard at work for months (yes I know, I need to get a life) putting together fun little things to spoil my friends.  When we got to the house, the girls were greeted with a bag of pineapple themed goodness.  Pineapples are a sign of hospitality; and they're pretty dang trendy right now.  Allie and I had a blast trying to find pineapple socks in San Francisco.  Anyway, I found a book called the Pineapple Story which talks about letting some of the negative things in our lives go, and that how, by doing that, we can find peace and contentment.

So much fun.  As part of the fun, I had all the ladies bring a "favorite thing" to share with everyone.  It was interesting to see what little things make a big difference in our lives.  I gave everyone a planner (because that is my newest obsession.)  I think I almost have a couple of my friends converted.  Sally gave us beautiful silver link bracelets, Nicole gave us sugar scrub, Alison gave us soap and sweets (seriously what's better than a new soap scent?)  Dani brought the magic with her tiny LED lights, and Heather.... she brought us all a jar of caramel topping from Leatherby's... which, if we're completely honest, we enjoyed quite a bit of over the weekend.

Friday morning, we slept in, hit my favorite consignment store in St. George, ate breakfast at The Egg and I and did a little grocery shopping.

That's a lot of groceries for five ladies.  But let it be said that we ate well.  One of the fun things I did while I was down there was to go and visit one of my recently graduated YW from church.  Emma just started down at Dixie State University and I took her some yummy food stuffs to get her through her late night study sessions.  It was fun to see her apartment and her excitement for living the college life!

This might be the world's crappiest picture, but rest assured, we were both enjoying the visit.

Oh, and did I mention that we had a daily theme?  Friday was Mary Poppins day.  Because, let's face it.... we're practically perfect in every way.

Saturday was Beauty and the Beast day, with custom book plates and coloring pages.... because who doesn't love to read?

And my friends are pretty awesome!  They got up and went to the St. George Temple.  I slept!  Don't follow my example.  

Back from the temple and sufficiently edified with yummy chicken salad and aforementioned caramel sauce, we headed out to shop.  No where incredibly exclusive, mind you, just the chance to look at and try on clothes without your kid opening the door while your pants are down.  We had to hit up Downeast Basics... as Mormon girls we have more than a passing need for tee shirts to wear under everything.  I went to Eddie Bauer; because I love Eddie Bauer.  Except all the moisture-wicking, great outdoors and exhausting looking attire.  I mostly just like their sweatshirts and jeans.  That's pretty much my mom uniform.  Then.... we went to Ulta (make-up!) and Charming Charlie's.  Now, let it be said that sweet Emma mentioned earlier in this post was the one who introduced me to Charming Charlie's and I FREAKING LOVE THAT STORE!  Why someone had never thought to group accessories for sale by color before is a complete mystery to me.  Not that you always have to stick to the way they have things displayed, but my gosh.... for those of us who don't have a lot of time or patience..... this store is a Godsend.  We quite enjoyed our little shopping spree and then we headed back toward the house, by way of Swig.  I'm sure at some point (maybe tomorrow) there will be an entire post on the mystery of mixed soda stores in Utah, but goodness me; Swig is my all-time favorite.  All these fantastically healthy, spiritual ladies were getting things like fruit water, and I'm asking them to surgically install a port so that I can have Diet Coke just pumped into my veins.  Not necessarily good for me, but oh so wonderful and rewarding after I get my little rugrats to their respective classrooms.

Saturday night was our night for the play; at Tuacahn.  It's near Snow Canyon State Park.... back in a red rock canyon.  The venue is beautiful and most of the plays I have seen there over the years have been top notch.  I'm going to be honest..... I was not impressed this year with two of the three plays.  The characters were good actors and strong singers, but when you're doing Tarzan and Peter Pan (which both require an enormous amount of wire work) and you attempt to dress the sets, nee wires, with pretend leaves.... it starts to lose its wonder and feels a little forced.  The one play that I LOVED this year was an adaptation of Disney's version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame.  The movie came out in 1996 and is, in my opinion, one of the most underrated yet wonderful films Disney has ever made.  The story is so good and the music is beautiful.  I love the cathedral as a character and the discussion about gypsies and tolerance translates very well to the conversation we're currently having about refugees.  It is a show that has perhaps my most favorite song ever... and I'm including a link, so you can enjoy it.  This is the version found in the movie (because the words are a little different in order to move the story along.)

https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/god-help-the-outcasts/id156093514?i=156093634

The beauty of this story is the fact that it is the outcasts that possess the qualities that are admirable.  The villain (perhaps the most evil in the Disney tradition) is so vile because he masquerades as being good and noble.

Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; 

that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; 

that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter.

-Isaiah 5:20

Anyway, the bottom line is, I loved this show! So good.  I was so glad after seeing them with my mom and girls initially, that this play was the one we had purchased tickets to attend with my friends. I loved it so much that I actually bought another set of tickets for Matt and I to run down and see it this next weekend.... but then Erin got asked to Homecoming at a neighboring school.... so we'll be staying home :(

(Did I mention we had fantastic seats?)

Sunday.... SUNDAY!  What to say about Sunday except we lounged; like a boss!  Heather put a pork roast in the crockpot and we watched the BBC mini-series North and South. And we crafted.  Sally went to a lot of work to prepare some super cute and fun fall crafts for us to do.  In the end, we were quite impressed with ourselves.  We had a fancy drink bar (sans alcohol because that's how we roll) and just genuinely enjoyed each others company.

Oh, and Sunday was Cinderella day.  In all these pictures, you'll notice that there are little cards printed with sayings on them.  Every day, to go along with our theme, the ladies got a few little cards with messages from the story we were honoring that day.  I also had found different stories or thoughts that I presented each day.... to hopefully communicate why I picked the theme I did.  Well, Cinderella's little gifts were pretty lame; I mad magic wands (thank you Pinterest) and we all wore cheap, silly tiaras.  But the words for the day were some of my favorites.

The thought for the day comes from a talk given by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf.  He's a member of the governing body of the LDS Church, and if we're honest, kind of a silver fox.  Former pilot, Lufthansa executive, WWII refugee and terrific story teller.

These are the parts of the story that I wanted to share:

Your Happily Ever After

Excerpts from President Uchtdorf’s Talk

April 2010

In most languages there exists a phrase as magical and full of promise as perhaps any in the world. That phrase is “Once upon a time.”

Aren’t those wonderful words to begin a story? “Once upon a time” promises something: a story of adventure and romance, a story of princesses and princes. It may include tales of courage, hope, and everlasting love. In many of these stories, nice overcomes mean and good overcomes evil. But perhaps most of all, I love it when we turn to the last page and our eyes reach the final lines and we see the enchanting words “And they lived happily ever after.”

“You are a beloved daughter of Heavenly Father, prepared to come to the earth at this particular time for a sacred and glorious purpose.”

His love for you is so great that He has granted you this earthly life as a precious gift of “once upon a time,” complete with your own true story of adventure, trial, and opportunities for greatness, nobility, courage, and love. And, most glorious of all, He offers you a gift beyond price and comprehension.

For a moment, think back about your favorite fairy tale. In that story the main character may be a princess or a peasant; she might be a mermaid or a milkmaid, a ruler or a servant. You will find one thing all have in common: they must overcome adversity.

Cinderella has to endure her wicked stepmother and evil stepsisters. She is compelled to suffer long hours of servitude and ridicule.

In “Beauty and the Beast,” Belle becomes a captive to a frightful-looking beast in order to save her father. She sacrifices her home and family, all she holds dear, to spend several months in the beast’s castle.

Has there ever been a person who did not have to go through his or her own dark valley of temptation, trial, and sorrow?

Sandwiched between their “once upon a time” and “happily ever after,” they all had to experience great adversity. Why must all experience sadness and tragedy? Why could we not simply live in bliss and peace, each day filled with wonder, joy, and love?

The scriptures tell us there must be opposition in all things, for without it we could not discern the sweet from the bitter.

In stories, as in life, adversity teaches us things we cannot learn otherwise. Adversity helps to develop a depth of character that comes in no other way. Our loving Heavenly Father has set us in a world filled with challenges and trials so that we, through opposition, can learn wisdom, become stronger, and experience joy.

You need to know that you will experience your own adversity. None is exempt. You will suffer, be tempted, and make mistakes. You will learn for yourself what every heroine has learned: through overcoming challenges come growth and strength.

It is your reaction to adversity, not the adversity itself, that determines how your life’s story will develop.

We all search for happiness, and we all try to find our own “happily ever after.” The truth is, God knows how to get there! And He has created a map for you; He knows the way.  Trust Him enough to follow His plan.

“Happily ever after” is not something found only in fairy tales. You can have it! It is available for you! But you must follow your Heavenly Father’s map.

Learn to love your Heavenly Father with all your heart, might, and mind. Fill your souls with virtue, and love goodness. Always strive to bring out the best in yourself and others.

Be strong and of good courage. You are truly royal spirit daughters of Almighty God. You are princesses, destined to become queens. Your own wondrous story has already begun. Your “once upon a time” is now.

Sunday night, we ate a yummy dinner and then spent the night on the patio, making smores a la Sterno with lots of yummy fixings and did something that Heather and I often do.... we talked politics.  It became evident really quickly that my views were different than everyone else's.  But in the long run, that's probably good because it keeps us all in check.  Oy vey..... presidential elections stress me out.  Thank goodness there were s'mores there to calm me down.  Heather and I were obviously the photographers because we aren't in the pictures.... at least that's my story.... my fingers may have been covered in chocolate and marshmallow:)

At 2 am, we decided it was time to call it a night and we headed to bed.

Okay, now Monday was our last day, and although we had no plans to get out of dodge quickly, I must say, it is fun to travel with other moms.  Once we were all up and going, I didn't have to give anyone instructions.  They know what needs to be done to clean the house and I don't have to yell.  We stripped the beds, started the laundry, packed our clothes, showered and dressed.  The theme for Monday was the Wizard of Oz.  Since it was our last day, you know the goodies had to be just right.  So, we all got tee shirts.... custom made, of course.  We got our fair share of looks from folks that day, but who cares.

"It's not where you go, it's who you meet along the way."

Okay, and I have to say, I hate hiking.  And this wasn't even really a hike, but it required that I climb a freaking rock!  The only proof I have of said rock, however, is me coming back down, so it's a butt view and I won't subject you to that.  Suffice it to say, as I explained to my kids, Heather is the only person ON THE PLANET, who can convince me to do things I hate.  Mostly because she is stronger willed than I am and I know if I don't do what she wants, she's not afraid to embarrass me!  So we hiked.

We hit Larsen's Frost-Top on the main drag for lunch and I had one of my favorites (Picadilly Chips) which I freaking love, but because they're fried twice, they didn't agree with my tummy.  I only ate a few, but it was enough to bring on the nausea and discomfort that last for an hour or so after bad food is eaten.

Needless to say, while the rest of the girls went for pedis, Dani and I went back to the house so I could lay on the bed and moan in discomfort while I promise the food gods I'll never eat offending food again.  Dani is so nice, she never wants anyone to have to be alone.  She is one of the most proper and wonderful women I know, but she was my staunch supporter during aforementioned random piercing.

After pampering their feet, we packed up the car, turned off the water, took the garbage out and headed on our way.  So sad to see this awesome weekend come to an end.  But don't you worry, we have big plans for next year.  Be super nice to me and y'all may get an invite!

All fun and silliness aside (although the importance of these should not be underestimated) spending the weekend with such good friends and strong women left me feeling empowered and enabled to take on the world.  We all love our families, but we are all in agreement that there are thoughts and feelings and support that you can only get from your girlfriends.

Sending love to all of these women, and so many others who have changed my life for good.  And just remember....

Sorry for the swear, Mom, but the sentiment remains.