This is the picture of the pile of laundry that I had sitting on my floor this morning. To be fair, I changed the sheets Monday night and the duvet cover and I didn't have time to get to it yesterday. But... today is a different story. I'm only showing you this so that you see that I come to this topic as somewhat of an authority. Truth be told, my mom is probably horrified that I'm posting this, and Matt may be too.... although he's okay with a little public shaming. And since it's me who is the worst laundry offender that lives in this bedroom, I feel as though I have the most to lose by letting you see this pile of dirty clothes. Oh, and there are also a lot of the boys clothes in that pile too because evidently they are scared to undress in their own room. Whatever. I do have pictures of the girls bathroom, yet another sensitive spot in the laundry battle, but I'm saving those for if I ever have to have leverage to negotiate with them.... or Edward Snowden.... or the CIA. There could very well be national secrets hidden in there and I wouldn't know.
Okay, so washing clothes. I don't actually mind sorting and washing the clothes (although I did have a load of reds that I think I ran every day for like a week because I kept forgetting to change it.) Those parts are fairly easy. I can sort according to color and I can even make sure that the clothing that needs to be hung to dry (every single one of my shirts; possible future busty girl post) does in fact get hung up to to dry. But, I HATE, HATE, HATE folding and putting clothes away. I have tried for the better part of ten years to get my kids to do this part and the only one that I have been successful with is Allie. The other two, start out with good intentions and try to keep the dirty and clean piles separate.... but there are plenty of times as I'm throwing things in the machine that are still folded.... so I know they haven't been worn. Better yet, there are clothes that Erin has floating around in the abyss of her bedroom that still have tags on them.... and I laugh when they make their way to the laundry room. Let it be said that about two years ago, I turned the responsibility of doing their own laundry over to the girls. Allie is faithful about doing hers.... Erin, not so much. Mark this down.... to Erin's future husband, I'm sorry. We really tried. Please don't bring her back!
There are all kinds of directions that this post can go.... and because it's nearly 3 am and I'm not asleep, I'll probably skip around and hit them all. What do I learn from Christ's example of clothing the naked. Well, I learn a couple of things. First, the fact that this is mentioned specifically leads me to believe that even in ancient times, people were still having nightmares about showing up to school naked and forgetting their locker combinations.... oh, wait.... maybe that's just me. Anyway, the point is that there is nothing sadder than seeing someone who is lacking proper attire. I'm not speaking of someone trying to sneak into a nice restaurant without a tie.... I'm talking about kids in Haiti that can't go to school because they don't own shoes. I'm talking about little kids who go to school during the winter with only a sweatshirt because they've outgrown their coat and there's no extra money in the budget this month to buy a new one. I'm talking about being chilled to the bone, both figuratively and literally, due to a lack of proper attire.... feeling less than because of what you don't have. And I honestly think besides the practical part of covering the private bits, that explains the Savior's interest in clothing the naked. By expressing an interest and acting out of love, he has shown us that all mankind is deserving of love; despite the fact that their outward appearance may be lacking when compared to our own. Christ cared for His fellow man, and asks us to do the same.
Now, back to the modern day scenarios. Why is it important that I strive to follow Christ's example and clothe the naked? Well, best as I can tell, when it comes to my laundry issue, it's to serve those I love and live with and to let them know that their comfort and well-being is important to me. Maybe not as important relative to the piles of dirty underwear squirreled away in cupboards (Will) or on bathroom floors (girls), but the fact that I care enough about my family to make sure they have what they need when they need it.... even if it's a struggle and a fight.... I will continue to wade back into the fray.
This is where it starts to jump around a bit, and you get to play pinball in my brain regarding laundry and the issues that I have with it. I'm curious.... if you're reading this blog, and I know that there are probably about 50 people out there that read it (unless my mom is logging in every hour) I would love and appreciate your best tips and tricks regarding laundry. Some folks love it! Some lucky ladies have husbands who fold laundry; I generally would count myself in this group when Matt is home, but suffice it to say we have different opinions on how things should be done.
Some of the biggest disagreements we have had in our marriage have been about laundry. I'm not even kidding. After nearly 20 years, I have figured out how to manage at least Matt's laundry so that he has what he needs. It should be said that Matt has done his own laundry since he was 13 and for some reason or another, I don't think he went on a single date in high school with completely dry jeans. You know how that goes... anyway, he is fastidious about the laundry. And my kids know, if dad is sorting the laundry (as opposed to simply folding it) things could go bad fast. When Matt sorts, he sorts by color and by texture, which is a little bit much for me. But, if he's sorting who am I to judge? Like for reals? When he watches the kids, I have no ownership over their activities or his methods; I'm just happy for the break. The same holds true for laundry. I won't go into a great deal more detail about Matt's personal laundry preferences except to say that there are a few rules and procedures followed every week before he arrives home:
- All of his underwear is washed and folded in his drawer.
- Any work clothes (read, anything that should be ironed) has been dropped off previously at the dry cleaners and should be ready to pick up.
- And if it's a good week, he has fresh and cleanish smelling workout clothes for his Friday morning exercise.
- Oh, and there generally shouldn't be any baskets of clean, unfolded laundry blocking closets, doorways or walking paths. Those areas are strictly reserved for piles of DIRTY laundry :)
It is Murphy's law that he can have 20 shirts hanging in his closet and he wants the one shirt that is dirty or at the cleaners. He takes very good care of his clothes and still has several items in his closet that he has had since I met him in 1991. He doesn't wear them (usually) but they still live there. I also learned the hard way, that I DO NOT under any circumstances assume that I know or can judge what can be taken to the DI. Nope. That is purely Matt's call; and there are sometimes I think that it bugs both of us, but it is just safer this way. That will always be due to what is referred to as the "Girbaud incident."
Now, me, in contrast. I have never been a neatnik...... not ever once in my whole entire life. I like things clean, but I also like things to happen quickly. So.... that means that if I try on more than one dress before church on Sunday, any discards are left on the bed and not hung back up immediately. It also means that when I undress, I pull my clothes off inside out and they are left that way to go into the wash.... THIS DRIVES MATT NUTS! It's worse, too, because that's what my kids do as well. The foot of our bed is usually layered with sweaters, sweatshirts and at least two pairs of jeans because those things don't need to be laundered every time they're worn, right? I also HATE matching socks. Like, I would rather throw the singles away and start over. But, I don't do that. They go in a pile and then they mate under the counter in the laundry room. My approach to laundry (if you can call it that) drives Matt nuts. There is no order. I wash clothes when the piles get too big to walk around or if something that I want to wear can't be found and it's assumed it's MIA in the bottom of a laundry basket somewhere. Needless to say, I am pretty much there right now. I gotta do it.
A few other miscellaneous notes and explanations about laundry. When I was growing up, it was understood that if it was on the floor of the laundry room in a pile, it was dirty. If it was on the floor of my mom's room in a pile, it was clean. I happen to think that's an okay system; not optimal, but functional once you know the rules. However, I have come to understand over the years that Matt is never going to play by those rules.... so, I try hard to keep his things taken care of. And lest you think my mother is slothful, she does laundry all the time and it's folded and put away immediately now. She finally has time and she does know how to do it. She even irons; jeans and tee shirts! Who has time for that? Not me.
Matt is particular about how the towels are folded and I thank his mother for this. There is merit to the idea, for sure, but honestly, if they're folded and they don't smell like butt.... however they're on the rack is fine as far as I'm concerned. Just so you all know how towels should be folded.... they should be folded length-wise (hot dog for you kindergarten moms out there) and then folded hamburger wise twice so that you simply have to take them from the shelf and let the last two folds fall out... voila.... perfect position for hanging on towel racks.
My kids have way too many pairs of socks and underwear.... but, those children in Bangladesh chained to sewing machines work hard for their 15 cents a day so I don't always feel terrible running to Target to buy new when I'm informed 10 minutes before school that they are out of clean underwear. Like really? You couldn't have mentioned that three days ago when you saw it looming?
However, they also have lots because I promised myself as a mother that although I am totally great with hand-me-down clothes, underwear is kind of one of those items that should be an original owner kind of deal. You may be wearing clothes that my cousin Cassie wore in 1991, but by damn, you'll have new underwear. This philosophy has served me well over the years for several reasons, but because I love and value my children's psyche, we'll leave it there.
Speaking of kids... here is a run down of their particular clothing peculiarities. Will hates underwear. He takes it off every chance he gets. He owns underwear... he just hates wearing it. One of these days there's going to be a mishap with a zipper and he'll learn the hard way. But, until then, I'll keep checking the floor and cupboards of the half bath in the downstairs hallway. That's usually where he hides it. Will also shares my affinity for pajamas. If he's home, he's in jammies. Unless it's Sunday, then he takes after his Grandpa Pierce and stays in his church clothes all day long. There is no rhyme or reason to this kid.
Jack has an aversion to jeans. He mostly just wants to wear those stupid track pants. Which was fine for a while, but I have put my foot down and insisted that he wear pants that button now. So, yeah, mean mom. But we're making progress there too.
When Allie was little, no joke, she'd change her clothes like four times a day! I finally had to make her a sticker chart and she could get a sticker if she stayed in her original outfit all day long. Allie likes clothes and worries A LOT about how her outfits look. We have a difference of opinion on several things; namely that Birkenstocks and tennis shoes are not appropriate footwear for church and that I don't care how trendy it is, or who else does it, a flannel tied around your waist is not your best dress so it's not getting worn to church either. There are also some annoying rules about skirts that are too short and heels that are too high, but those fights have been fought since time began... so they hardly bear a mention. Allie does her own laundry... so I can't complain too much. Except when she takes Erin's stuff..... but Erin takes her stuff too, so that's fair right? And they both take my stuff and that ticks me off... but evidently I'm mean and unfair, so that's okay too.
Erin doesn't know how to get dressed in her room. And she still has not entirely figured out the need to take her clothes, or a towel for that matter, into the bathroom with her when she takes a shower. She is a bit of a streaker.... and yells loudly at anyone she thinks is looking. But, who doesn't notice a dripping wet naked girl running down the hall? Like, really? Anyway, she pretends that the bathroom is a JC Penney dressing room. Surely there's someone who will come in after she goes to school and put away those outfits that didn't quite make the cut, right? No, wrong. I don't want to go near that bathroom.... for so many reasons, not the least of which is Matt deserves hazard pay for having to unclog the drain in their sink! Like, I don't remember that ever being an issue in my house growing up. So either we had great pipes, which I have reason to believe is true (another topic for another time) or my girls shed as much as my black lab and it all falls in the sink. But I digress.
The final mentions in this lovely laundry post will be that for some reason, Jack and Will are averse to taking off their clothes near any type of laundry receptacle. Pants, shirts, socks (LOTS OF SOCKS) litter the floor of my home. Which honestly, only adds to the sock refugee crisis. And, every time there is a small spill or drip in the kitchen or dining room area, there must be at least ten dish cloths/towels employed to clean up the mess as opposed to one sheet of Bounty which is the quicker-picker-upper kids! Come on!!!! We can throw that stuff away or burn it. But we don't have to wash it. That's a no brainer folks! After they're "used" to clean up, they sit in a pile on the counter, or a dining room chair, until I gather it up to wash it. Sometimes this happens quickly, sometimes it does not.
And we like blankets and snuggling under them, so chances are there are a few of those littered around the house as well. We do own a functioning washer and dryer.... I just don't like to make it work too hard... you know, same as my kids.
So why, week after week, do I keep fighting the laundry battle? Because I love the tribe of people that live at my house. When they wear clean clothes, they look nice and I don't have to worry that people will think they're orphans. I love Matt... so I fold his underwear, and make sure the towels are folded the right way.... and life has been so much better since I sat in that spouse symposium associated with his MBA program where one of the women offered the dry cleaners as a resource. That was life-changing right there.
I like clothes, not swimsuits, but clothes. It is fun to be able to shop for things and to feel like I can sever my ties with Omar the Tentmaker.... go back and read about weight loss in 2012 and you'll understand this. So, clothes and laundry are here to stay, I guess. And I will continue to try and be like Jesus and clothe the naked. For so many reasons; so they're not cold, so no one has to see my thighs or Will's hairy back... but mostly because I love my family and I want them to feel and experience a physical manifestation of that love. And know, that there are a million and a half things that I'd rather be doing than matching socks, but that I love them, dang it!
1 comment:
Tips for happy laundry:
•Use a hamper that is divided into two, one for darks and one for lights. ( I like Matt’s laundry sorting )
•If the laundry volume warrants it you may need to dedicate an entire day to laundry, maybe every Monday. It’s easy to sort and wash just a week’s worth rather than several weeks.
•Fold the load of laundry as soon as it is done in the dryer. Everything is crisp and it’s easier to fold one load at a time and you don’t feel overwhelmed with 5 baskets all built up on your bed. Plus, you get a break and aren’t spending 3 hours only folding laundry.
•Reduce the volume. I think all the clean clothes should be able to fit in the closet and drawers. If the clothes don’t fit when everything is clean than its time to get rid of things. An easy way to keep up on that is to donate and article of clothing for each new one you purchase.
Hope that helps
-Cath
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