I saw this picture online last night and thought it was fantastic. Mom's have been playing peekaboo and bribing their kids with treats since the time of Christ. Jesus was one of the worlds greatest mama's boys. Which is good, because she risked a lot to be the "handmaiden of the Lord." A couple of thoughts about Mary. Can you imagine, being a teenage girl and being visited by an angel? And told you were pregnant with the Son of God? How would it feel to have to explain all of this to Joseph, your betrothed? To quote Desi Arnez..... "you got a lot of 'splainin to do." I am also incredibly impressed with Joseph; his love, care and compassion. But, we are talking about Mary. A friend of mine posted a blog link yesterday about lessons we can learn from Mary.
Ruth Mitchell, who writes at rubygirl.org identifies some things to think about. I would like to mention them here, but please, go and read her blog.
1. Virtue and righteousness compensate for youth and inexperience. This reminds me a lot of the discussions that we have surrounding Joseph Smith and his role in the Restoration of the Gospel. Throughout time, God has accomplished his greatest works through those who are humble and teachable enough to listen. Ruth writes:
"We don't need rank, wealth or experience to build up the Kingdom of God.
Rather, we need humility virtue and faith."
If there is one word I could pick to describe motherhood, it would be humbling. Only once you become a mother do you realize how much you don't know. Our Heavenly Father has blessed us with the ability to learn on the job (very quickly) but we come to motherhood as Mary did; nervous and inexperienced. When I read about Mary, it brings me hope that it says in the scriptures that she found favor with God. There's hope for all of us.
2. Mary trusted God. This is so vital, and yet, I think it was probably super hard. As humans, we like to be able to rely and build our foundations from things we can see and understand. I think Mary was probably overwhelmed, but filled with faith. My goal in life is to get to the point that I am confident enough in my relationship with the Savior that I can say
"be it unto me according to thy word."
3. Choosing the right didn't protect Mary from difficulties. So many times in life we assume that if we seek the Lord's will in our decisions; if we council with him, then our path will be made straight. This is not necessarily true. There are always instances where bad things happen to good people and it sometimes leaves us scratching our heads. The trick in all of this is to realize that because we have chosen God's way, we are blessed by the Spirit of the Holy Ghost and we are guided and directed to deal with our problems in more productive and fruitful ways. I like what Ruth said:
"almost always, following God's will for us pushes us out of our comfort zone."
I have found this to be true in my life and although it is hard, I can testify that through hard things my testimony has been strengthened the most.
4. Mary remembered spiritual experiences. So many times in the scriptures we are taught about "pondering things in our heart" and holding them sacred. Our reaction to and participation in spiritual experiences can continue to bless our lives long after the initial event occurs. I have had the opportunity in my own life to recall and rely on these experiences and they have kept me going when I feel like I want to quit. My tendencies to over extend and become overwhelmed have been discussed at length in previous posts.... but there have been moments of spiritual clarity along the way, and many times I force myself to go back to those; to ponder, to ask in faith and to recall those thoughts and feelings that have led me to where I am. I have found that to be my best self and the best mother I know how to be, that I must rely on the help of the Lord and acknowledge his direction in all things.
5. One final lesson that Ruth relates is that "Being a mother will break your heart." The highs and lows that accompany motherhood are some of the most volatile and difficult emotions I have ever dealt with. As my kids get older and I watch them learn to advocate for themselves in earnest and test the lessons I have tried to teach them, I have felt so inadequate; not only in guiding my children but in blazing my own trail. But the heart is a muscle, and like every other muscle in our bodies, it must continually stretch and tear to become stronger. So we forge on, even though it's hard.
I think these are all great lessons that we can learn from Mary. And then, we can learn from Christ's example, how to treat and care for our mothers. Throughout his life and his ministry he took special care to recognize Mary; even as he died on the cross.
We have the opportunity to follow Jesus' example in the way that we deal with others. There are all sorts of talks, and lessons and memes that talk about motherhood and the blessing that it is in all of our lives. But the more that I have thought about motherhood (and Mary) I'm sure that there were many times that as a mother, she has probably rolled her eyes, or shrugged her shoulders or scratched her head and asked the universal question.... where did I go wrong? When I consider the role of my mom in my life and now, as the balance shifts and it is more about my life as a mother, there have been many times where I have rolled my eyes, shrugged my shoulders or scratched my head. Right now, at 41, I am in transition.... my role is evolving. I am going from child to parent. More and more I am looked to for decisions and advice and I am grateful that I have the examples of women like Mary to give me perspective and teach me eternal truths. And my mom, to give practical advice that is critical to my daily survival.
Now, motherhood is divine, but it is also a wild ride. Here are top ten lessons that I have learned from my mom over the years.
10. Mothers don't negotiate with terrorists. If your kids smell fear, they will take you down. You are the mom; act like it.
9. Every little bit of housework is better and easier with a Diet Coke in your hand.
8. Do not poke the Mama Bear. Or the Grandmama Bear. This is just not wise.
7. She's always waiting up for you. You'd better check in or be prepared to hear "I had you dead on the side of the road."
6. There is never a distance that is too far to drive to help someone. If it involves freeways, it will take you three times as long as on surface streets, but if you leave early enough, you'll be there in time to make sure that your loved one has that lost glove you found underneath the dining room table.
5. Bribery is a mother's secret weapon. My mom is as shrewd as the proverbial "Arab trader." No situation is too big or to small to not call for a sticker chart and a little reward. Everybody has their price.... you just have to find it.
4. It's possible to do hard things and to love people who are hard to love. It was a very difficult but very rewarding thing to watch my mom care for all of my grandparents as their time on earth faded. Whether it was going to doctors appointments, taking a cantankerous old coot out to lunch, listening to the same stories over and over or just holding a hand... she was there to serve every single one of them; which wasn't always easy.
3. If you need help with your math, you'd better ask your dad.
2. If you don't go to school/work, don't expect to do anything fun. Besides that, the standard for staying home from either of these activities requires that blood, bones or barf be present. See what I mean? Life is hard.... but there's no escaping it.
1. All major household decisions should be made by one of two methods; prayer or Indian leg wrestling. Let it be said that she prays more now than she used to.... but only because her son-in-law moped too much when she beat him at leg wrestling.
Some of this is funny, and nearly all of it is true. My mom has always been a fierce defender of her children and her husband and for that, she will always have my respect. I also vow here and now that when she gets super old and loses control of any number of functions, that I will dress her in a beautiful flowing mumu, have her hair done, her toenails polished and a big Diet Coke in her hand and I will drive her to the desert where she can die with dignity. For those of you who think this is odd, it is..... but that's the one condition my parents have put on any type of long term care. No prolonging of life or preventing of death.... only channeling our inner Grandma Porter and riding off into the sunset.
Love you Mom!
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