No Shave November is actually about more than men refusing to use a razor; which honestly, is something I just learned while I was writing this post. According to the InterWeb:
No-Shave November is a web-based, non-profit organization devoted to growing cancer awareness and raising funds to support cancer prevention, research, and education.
Who knew? Probably Grizzly Adams, Santa Claus and the bearded lady. Now you can count yourself among those enlightened. You're welcome.
NaNoWriMo is an abbreviation for National Novel Writing Month. Again, a quick search online revealed the motivation behind this movement.
National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo) is a fun, seat-of-your-pants approach to creative writing.
On November 1, participants begin working towards the goal of writing a 50,000-word novel by 11:59 PM on November 30.
Valuing enthusiasm, determination, and a deadline, NaNoWriMo is for anyone who has ever thought about writing a novel.
Now, I don't have any aspirations right now about writing the great American novel, but there are several folks in my life who observe this movement in November.
At our house, there was another hashtag floating around at the beginning of the month: #neverTrump. Needless to say, that's somewhat of a moot point now, but it is emblazoned on the back of Matt's van and therefore evidence as a testament to the power of grass-roots organization.
I'm sure there are other campaigns floating around social media, but I'm not going to talk about any more of them. The real reason for this post is because today is Thanksgiving. And I woke up this morning and as I laid in bed trying to figure out how I was going to apologize to Matt for falling asleep (AGAIN) in the middle of an episode of Elementary.... my thoughts turned to him, and our kids and our families. The more I thought about this, the more I decided that I wanted to write a post that actually names names. How many times do we hear people speak in groups where they diplomatically thank people without actually identifying specific individuals? I understand that most of the time it is to protect others feelings and to keep things fair..... but since it's my blog, and I am that girl who likes to write about what I think, I decided that I wanted to take some time this morning to count my many blessings and name them one by one. For my friends out there, please know that you are loved. But for my family, I want you to know how much I love and cherish each of you.
I have the following quote on my wall downstairs along with various family pictures:
Coincidentally the frame it is in is covered in dust; keepin' it real folks! But, in all seriousness, I love this thought. Families are vast and different. There are some folks we REALLY love and there are others that take more effort..... but over time, I have learned that the effort is worth it.
So, without further ado, today's blog post will feature the reasons I am grateful for the members of my family. Lessons I've learned and ways my life has been blessed by their presence.
I'm actually going to start with Matt's family. When I married into this bunch 20 years ago, I joined a group of people who were refreshingly different than those I had been exposed to in my home growing up. To start with, there were a lot more of them. Matt is the oldest of six and the spread between ages meant that his youngest sister was only four when we went on our first date. I have been so fortunate to be a part of their family. I have always felt like a seventh child; probably due to the fact that I have been hanging out with his brothers and sisters since they were in elementary school. I know, without a doubt in my mind, that I have stepped on toes and offended each of them at some point in time over the last 25 years. And yet.... they keep letting me back through the door. That is something to be grateful for right there. But, I have been taught so much by this group of people. Now we come to the naming names part.
Steven - my father-in-law. I am convinced that there is a place reserved in heaven for this man. He has always been kind and loving to me. The night before Matt got home from his mission and I had launched fully into anxiety mode, Steve put his hands on my shoulders and informed me that if Matt didn't like me when he got back home, that he'd need to find a new place to live because they were keeping me. Over the years, I'm certain he's probably regretted that offer, but I am so grateful for his example and influence in my life. Steve will sacrifice any and all of his time and talents to serve others. He is the kind of man that sees a need, and quietly sets out to try and fill it. He has built bunk beds for neighbors, shoveled walks, mended fences, changed light fixtures and installed cabinets. If he is awake, he is busy. When he stops working, he crashes hard. But he's always kind and pleasant and despite the fact that I still can't read his emotions when he leaves messages on the phone (is it a routine or emergency call?) he is a saint of a man. I am so grateful to him that he instilled in all of his children a desire to work hard and to be kind. Matt has the very best of his dad in him and I am grateful for his example and guidance and the way that it blesses my everyday life.
Malinda - the mother-in-law. It's always an interesting transition to watch a man go into the world; to see his mom watching anxiously as he heads into his own life and into the arms of his new wife. As that new wife, I have to say, Malinda has left me some big shoes to fill. She taught Matt so much; how to mop a floor, clean a bathroom, cook a great meal and sew (yep, you read that right.) She is patient and long-suffering and incredibly loving. She (along with Matt's dad) walks us out to our car nearly every time we visit. She gives great hugs and you can see the joy that her family brings her as a light in her eyes. Over the years, there have been so many things that she has done to help us.... but I'll keep it brief. When my grandma was dying in the hospital and I wanted to spend the night with her, Matt was out of town and I needed someone to watch my kids. I was in a panic because I was devastated by the pending loss of this relationship. Malinda offered to take the kids for the night and I was so grateful. Because of the logistics of locations and accessibility to resources, I dropped the kids off with only the clothes on their back. The next day was Jack's third birthday and I was so overwhelmed by everything going on, that I barely remember my interactions with her or the kids that night. I dropped them off and was so blessed to be able to go back to the hospital and to be with my grandma as she left this earthly life. And I had no worries about my children; not one. After my grandmother had passed and we drove to collect our children, we arrived to find them happy and running around in clean clothes that Malinda had washed while they were sleeping. She had enlisted Allie to help her bake a cake for Jack's birthday and met me at the door with a hug and let me cry. This was HUGE to me and an experience that I will forever be grateful for. This is only one of many that I could cite.
Emily - Matt's sister. She is two years younger than I am and we have shared several experiences over the years. She crafted with me while Matt was on his mission and came to Erin's class with me to help the entire fourth grade make pottery; built it and fired it for us. What an awesome experience! Emily is a great aunt. She loves my kids (and all the rest of her nieces and nephews) and my girls have spent several summer days doing projects, feeding turtles and countless other fun activities. She introduced the kids to roller skating, which Jack loves especially. She purchases Christmas ornaments for my kids every year; they have amassed quite a collection to this point. Erin gets angels, Allie gets bears, Jack gets Santa's and Will gets snowmen. BTW, Em, I did take pics of all of them last year before I put them away... so I'll email them to you.
Alan - When I get to Matt's brothers, I have so many memories of them growing up. My youngest brother Greg sits right between Alan and David so this threesome of young men has hovered around my life for a long time. I had the opportunity to get really close to Alan while Matt was on his mission, and now, I am blessed by the fact that he brought his family to Centerville and we get to see them often. There are so many things I can say about Alan, but just a couple I want to mention specifically. He always lets Jack play video games at his house. This may not seem like a big deal to anyone, but Jack is somewhat of a loner when we all get together; due to the fact that he is the oldest grandson, by far, and that he has virtually no interest in sitting and visiting after dinners are over. Alan lets him feel loved and makes him happy. Alan is always there to help with any household project we have going on. There was a period in 2008 where Alan and Matt (and the cast of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia) tiled our dining room and part of our family room until the wee hours of the morning for several weeks. I know that Alan is only a phone call away and that he will drop whatever he needs to so that the kids and I are taken care of in Matt's absence.
Katie - Alan's wife. Katie is fun and she is loyal. In many ways, we are so different, but the blessing that it has been to live near her and to have Will and Aspen within a week of each other has taken the "in-law" part completely out of the conversation. She is my sister. She is always willing to help me out with the kids. Just recently, when we left town for the weekend and she took care of our dogs, I came home to a clean kitchen and main level. When I left, it looked like a bomb had gone off in our house, but I came home to start a new week and was greeted by this awesome act of service. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for that. And the most important part (in my eyes) is that she loves Alan; a lot. I'll never forget her remarks at the dinner we had the night before their wedding. She stood up in front of 80 people and told us all the reasons she loved him. I remember Matt leaned over and saying "Wow, I never thought someone could really love Alan that much." Of course he was kidding.... but they make a great team and bless my life every day.
David - David is sensitive. When he was a little boy, I would have told you that "sensitive" was a nice way to say crybaby. Which sounds terrible, but it's really not meant like that. David's feelings have always been close to the surface; which has blessed my life and so many others over the years. He is kind and loving and gentle; with his wife and kids and with ALL of our huge family. He is generous and has had us in his home and made us feel welcome so many times. He is helpful and strong and will help you move furniture and will babysit my children. He brought me my favorite lunch at the hospital the day that William was born and has been known to create awesome "playlists." I can honestly say that a lot of the music he has shared with me has become some of my favorite. Love, love, love David.
Holli - David's wife. You know, there are folks that come into your life that you know are supposed to be there; Holli is my sister. She just is! When I first met her, it was like meeting a memory. We are not alike in every way, but we are alike in a lot of ways. Holli loves to create things and is always up for a fun time. She is a great mom and a fantastic example of love and sacrifice. I have watched her over the last year stretch and grow as she has moved her little family to the other side of the country to support David in his career. She has handled all of Jillian's health issues with dignity and grace and through all of it, she has a smile on her face and a kind word for those she meets. She is the friend that you want to make; you know the girl who lights up a room when she walks in? She is real, and she says what she thinks. This trait gets us both into trouble at times, but I love her for it. She is always willing to be a part of my life; even when it's messy and uncomfortable. Life with Holls is an adventure but I can't imagine my life without her in it.
Carolyn - What a girl! I have known her since she was seven years old and have seen a lot of her life. Carolyn personifies determination and persistence. From the time she was in high school, she wanted to be a pharmacist. It was a long journey, but she reached her goal. She is tenacious and when I want an example for my Erin and Allie, it is so nice to be able to point to Carolyn. Stick with it girls, because it ALWAYS pays off in the end. Carolyn has always been willing to help with my kids and hands down, the year she did the girls hair for school pictures was the best set of school pictures we ever had. Carolyn is a bridge; a peacemaker. She's always willing to open her heart and her home to her family and makes everyone feel special and welcome.
Spencer - Carolyn's husband. Oh my goodness! It's like Carolyn married the male form of me! I love Spencer. He always has a hug and a kind word. He calls me his sister.... which warms my heart every time he says it. Spencer always has a smile and is always, always, ALWAYS willing to help in any way possible. He helped with every step of finishing our basement. He showed Matt how to build our fountain. He loves kids and is definitely one of my kids' favorites. He is the one who will take time off work to sit with you at the hospital. He sat with Matt when I had my surgeries in 2012 and we both sat with Malinda while Steven had his colectomy. So many times (SO MANY TIMES) he has dropped everything to come and take pictures of Erin and her friends and is honestly always up for a family work day; we're different in that way.... I just want to bring food and watch everyone else work. He loves professional baseball games and kinda looks like Buddy the Elf. We love Uncle Spencer at our house.
Catherine - The baby sister. I will always think of her as a little blonde-hair, blue-eyed, freckled cutie. Truth be told, she still is.... she's just taller now. It's an interesting thing, because in spite of the fact that I've been around for most of her life, she has been one of the biggest surprises to me. She is quiet; or at least quieter than a lot of her siblings. She is a great listener and I guess I always mistook that for being an introvert. But as I have watched Catherine grow and mature, marry and start her family, I am so impressed with her kindness and dedication to her values. She is kind, she is thoughtful, she is loving. She is fastidiously diligent in her parenting and makes me feel like she really might actually love her kids more than I love mine. She loves her husband and she is determined. She is always the sister who calls or texts to see how things are and if she can do anything. I am grateful for Catherine and for all the times she watched the kids when they were little or mowed my lawn or pulled my weeds or packed and moved boxes for us. Cath, you're a trooper and I love you.
Skyler - Cath's husband. Skyler is a bit of a dark horse, and if we're honest here, a brave soul who was willing to bite the bullet and marry the baby sister. Skyler is quiet and in this way he is incredibly different from me (and a lot of the rest of the fam.) But Skyler is thoughtful and he is respectful. They've been married for eight years, and it's just recently that he's been willing to start engaging in some our marathon political discussions. We definitely have different viewpoints, but I'm always struck by how well-thought out, justified and measured his comments are. He's not rude, he's not flippant and the majority of Americans could take a lesson from him on that. Skyler has been super supportive of me in my efforts to create a more complete family history this year. He has thoughtfully answered all the questions I have asked and it has been awesome to get to know so many things about him; he's an artist, he liked Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and loves comic books. He loves his wife; which is evident in every interaction I observe. He wants to be, and is, an involved and attentive father. He is a great example to all of us.
Now onto my family. Obviously, I know way more about most of these folks that I probably should. But, despite that fact, I still love them! Hopefully the feeling is mutual.
Greg - the baby brother. Oh, he was a good sport. And he was naughty. He let me dress him up as a girl and he had a propensity for peeing in the front yard. He loves all types of music and dyed his hair turquoise in high school. I am incredibly grateful for all the experiences that I had with Greg as a teenager because I'm sure it has made Erin's life easier on more than one occasion. Greg checks in on me often. Every conversation starts the same way "Hey there. How's it going?" My family always know when it's Greg calling. He has reaped my wrath more than once when he has called to inquire about our estimated time of arrival when we are running late; which let's be honest is almost always. He likes to collect things like I do and is always calling me when he finds a deal; on concert tickets, cool t-shirts, Funko Pop figures or anything Disney. Sometimes he annoys me because he cares about the little things as much as I do and the competition drives me nuts. But.... he knows when I'm having a bad day, and he will call and check on me every day to make sure that I'm still trying. He's a lot of fun and if I'm honest, has always been a lot of fun with my kids. Although we joke at our house and tell the kids to never do what Uncle Alan and Uncle Greg tell them to do, I can honestly think of no two better men for my kids to emulate. Greg took Erin to her first AC/DC concert and his care and concern for all his nieces and nephews is evident in every interaction they have.
Sarah - Greg's wife. Mostly, I have to say thanks for two big things. Thank you for loving Greg enough to say yes when he proposed. I know that life with someone like me is not always easy, but you have been the best support and encouragement for my baby brother. Thank you as well for loving Matt and getting him. Life is hard sometimes and given our circumstances, Matt doesn't have a lot of folks that he'll turn to for advice.... you are a FANTASTIC sounding board for him. I appreciate all of the care and concern you have for him. I love that you bake yummy treats for my family and that you're nice enough to always do the dishes after a meal. You are kind and always ready with a kind word for me. It's always so nice to feel appreciated. You are a fantastic mother and a great daughter/daughter-in-law. You were so brave to wade into our family and we were smart enough to see how awesome you are.
Ben - Through thick and through thin, I know I can always count on you to be there for me when I need you. Last winter when I slid off the road, I texted you (along with Mom and Dad) and you were the first one to respond (by a long shot) and ask if I needed to be rescued. When I was in the ER last month, you dropped everything to come and sit with me. You didn't have to do that, despite what dad said, but you did and I was grateful for it. You are another quiet person in my life: a gentle giant. You are one of the most determined and smartest men I know and your dedication to your responsibilities and commitments is one that I have always admired. You are a hard worker and you worry about people's feelings. You are a man of faith and obedience and a great example of strength and grace in our family; even if you're not the smartest Homer.
Shanna - Ben's wife. Having you as a sister-in-law feels a lot like my relationship with Matt's family. I watched you date my brother all through high school, take pictures before dances, send him on a mission and build a life together. You are a crack up! And I LOVE your laugh! It is loud, just like me, and some of my best memories have been shared with you. I admire your dedication to all that you do: to your husband, to your kids, to your family and to the Church. You are faithful and you are eager to serve others. Watching you deal with the sudden death of your dad this year has left me heartbroken and yet so hopeful as I have watched you bless your mother's life with your faith and service. Thank you for helping my girls practice their screams for Splash Mountain and for letting my kids sleep over; even if you did make Erin sleep in the closet. Thank you for your concern for the girls; for always trying to be the cool aunt and text them, FB them or just keeping them in your thoughts and prayers. And thank you for going on boring history vacations and for raising the next generation of Homer family nerds. Love you!
Mom - Oh my goodness, what to say? I don't even know where to begin. Leaving aside all that you did for me during my growing up years, I can't even start to scratch the surface of all the ways you've left fingerprints on my heart. You are an awesome grandma and a great Swig buddy. I love that you will drop everything and drive to my house if you can tell I'm pre-melt down. I love that when I'm at my wit's end with the kids, Grandma Brenda leaves, and Mom Brenda comes out. I feel somehow validated when I hear you tell my kids the same things I say to them every day. Sometimes it's all I can do to keep from saying "I told you so" to my kids. Thank you for your great example of serving others. For teaching me how to look at needs and to address them. For getting in and getting the job done. Thank you for your support of my family while I try so hard to support Matt in his career. It's always been a joke in our house that you are the silent partner/third parent and that we have to take you into consideration on some of our decisions. There is so much that I wouldn't be able to do for my family if you hadn't been there backing me up. You've been there through surgeries, pregnancies, and crisis. You've done my dirty work on more than one occasion and been able to make your peace with being on the Humane Society's Most Wanted list. I know that I frustrate you, probably daily, but it really means a lot to me that you are as concerned about me as you are. I like that at 41, I still text you to tell you I'm in for the night. Maybe that says more about me than it does about you, but I'm grateful nonetheless. Thank you for everything; that says it all.
Dad - To the man I hate to disappoint, but still feel like I do way more often than not... I love you. These are not words I grew up saying a lot, but I never doubted for a second that they described the feeling in our home. You have worked so hard, all your life, to provide for our family; not just in temporal ways, but you've led by example at church, in all matters educational and have been instrumental in laying the foundation for my family. You are never too busy (unless you count that one time with Erica's car on the tree) to help me deal with my problems and you will move heaven and earth for your grandchildren. I know that nothing brings me more joy as a parent than to watch you watch my kids; to enjoy them and to teach them, and lately, to scold them. Your backup and support in so many ways blesses my life more than you will ever know. You have always encouraged us to follow our passions and to try and do hard things. We have been so fortunate to be able to create memories with you and mom (and the boys and their families) through travel that wouldn't have been possible without you. Thanks for knowing when to push and when to pull back, and thanks for helping me keep perspective when I feel like my life is spiraling out of control. Thanks for Christmas Eve shopping and Disney World and know that I try to live my life every day to make you proud, despite the fact that I voted for Hillary Clinton.
Well, there you have it. An individual accounting of all the things I love about my family and the reasons that I am grateful for them. This has been a great exercise and over the last two hours as I have been writing this, I have really felt true gratitude for all the blessings that are mine. Maybe at some point I'll talk about the folks that actually share my living space, but for now, we're going to leave it with the best actors in supporting roles. Love you all and Happy Thanksgiving.
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