What Fresh Hell is This?

The idea for a post within a post may be a mistake because the post linked below is my favorite part of "mom literature" ever written.

Worst End of School Year Mom Ever

The end of the school year, in my opinion, is more stressful and complicated than Christmas.  Nobody ever had to go to summer school because they gave their sister a gift "wrapped" in a Target bag.  I hate the end of school.  Actually, no.  I love when school ends, it's just the last month leading up to the end that I hate.  Between all of the school stuff that has to be wrapped up, the final projects, the make-up credit, teacher appreciation, teacher gifts, classroom placement for next year, class parties, school events, class programs, the summer schedule and trying to manage the expectations of four humans (okay five, sorry Matt) who all think the world revolves around them, and I would say that I have earned every gray hair on my head.  And a drink!  A stiff drink!

High school may be my undoing.  It is frustrating beyond measure to find myself feeling things and trying to navigate situations that I thought I left behind in 1993.  Granted, many of the situations I actually faced, were different than the ones I am facing with Erin.... but I had my struggles too.  Two weeks before graduation, my counselor Mr. Taylor called me into his office to inform me that I would most likely not be graduating because I was short a semester of gym.  That's right, gym.  They were going to recommend that I go to summer school to make that up.  WTH people?  Now, the difference between me and Erin is the fact that she would have politely thanked him and walked out of the office, burying her shame, pasting a smile on her face and return to the happy girl she is.  Me on the other hand, more than likely asked "WTH, President Taylor?"  Because he was also my Stake President.  And I wouldn't have used letters; I would have actually said the words.  Let's just say I was a bit of a feisty one; still am, I guess.  But, I walked out of that counseling center with permission to graduate.  I was a girl who knows how to get sh%# done.  Now, I didn't have a filter that kept me from saying things I shouldn't, and heaven knows I've paid the price for that a time or two in my life....  But, if given the choice of being passive or being aggressive, I will pick aggressive every time.
And darn it all if these last 5 weeks of school don't present me as a freaking prize fighter!

Looking back over the last school year, there are a few lessons learned and situations that I'd like to record here for posterity.  If nothing else, we can all have a little laugh and move on to face the rest of the week with a spring in our step.  So, let's start with Erin.  I thought seriously about putting some sort of disclaimer on the post saying that the names have been changed to protect the innocent/guilty.... but A.) I'm not that nice and B.) the process of elimination in trying to figure out some of these situations is not a big leap.  You'd get it right off.  Well, what to say about Erin's sophomore year at Viewmont?  There have been some definite highs.  She joined the swim team in the fall and that was an awesome experience.  She had to learn how to manage a split schedule and classes that are an hour and a half long.  She had to negotiate a bigger school, a parking lot where it's not the parents driving crazy, but the kids.  She has made new friends, went to her first school dance, and has completely, and I mean COMPLETELY weaned herself off school lunch.  She hates it and refuses to eat it.  She prefers to call me and her dad nearly every day and begs us to bring her lunch... which I'm sorry to say, I've given into too many times this year.  On a side note, she's got her drivers license and a car now, so she can forage for her own food..... except wait, she has no money.

Time has not seemed to help her become more assertive.  Erin will take crap from teachers and students alike, file it deep, deep down and then thank the person responsible.  Which is so funny to me because she fights me on EVERYTHING!  She went and filled up her gas tank at 10 pm last night, despite my objections, because "Grandpa told me never to let it get below half a tank."  Good honest advice, passed down through generations of Homer men (most of whom are accountants) but, I digress.  She wanted to get gas, she had a gift card.... who cares that it was 10 p.m.  Certainly not Erin.  So because she is so timid at school (and totally not a behavior problem) that leaves Matt and I to fight her battles; which I'm not sure that we should really be doing, but gosh dang it, someone should give a crap about her grades.  She doesn't and neither do her teachers.  As I was thinking about what I would say in this post, I thought about all of the letters I have written to teachers over the years.  Because that's what you do when you're a person that cries during face-to-face confrontations. Yes, I talk big, but I hate trying to articulate to a disagreement in person.  Besides, it's kind of a thing in my family that "I'm going to write a letter to....... telling them that I think they're (wrong, stupid, ornery, unqualified or a jerk.)  Sometimes they can be all of the above, and sometimes, its a combination of poor behaviors on several sides of the issue.  So, back to my strongly worded letters.  It's probably not a coincidence that written communication turns scathing this time of year.  I have been told that my letters are entertaining.... so pull up a chair and enjoy a few of them.... some of these names have actually been redacted, and these letters are not all from this year.... they just accurately represent my state of mind and course of action three weeks before school gets out.  And although I will address some of the issues I have had relative to my other kids, all "strongly worded letters" will be featured in this portion of the blog post.  If you don't want your eyes to bleed, you might consider skipping the highlighted letters below, and just move to the discussion of the next child.

Letter #1...

Dear Teacher-

Once again I find myself at odds with my daughter over her performance and grade in your class.  All year long we have fought over what she is or isn’t doing and looking for explanations for why assignments are missing or incomplete.  This letter is several weeks overdue, as it was originally written at the end of last term in response to an unexcused absence on March 18^th.  The issue at that time had to do with the fact that you wouldn’t let her turn in her assignment late, despite the fact that she did not know it would be called for while she was gone.  Anyway, I wrote the letter then and set it aside thinking that maybe I needed a little perspective.

Well, after my discussion with Erin today, I will say that I had all the perspective I needed and we are still experiencing the same issues.  Once again, she has turned in assignments that aren’t complete and has been given an abysmal score.  But when I ask, the reason behind the poor score is always the same; “she said that we didn’t have to turn it in” or “she didn’t tell us it was going to be due.”  I’m not exactly sure which excuse the latest assignment fits under, but this has happened so many times this year that there has to be some truth to it.  She can’t possibly be the only student who is doing this poorly. Compounding the miscommunication regarding due dates, is the fact that none of the students have a text that they can use outside the classroom.  What is that all about?  Is there a reason you couldn’t offer it for check out or purchase?  I would gladly pay for Erin to have a copy of the book at home.  How are they supposed to finish assignments?  It’s no wonder Erin’s assignments are incomplete.  I am beyond sending her in to try and deal with the problem.  On the off chance that you are present when she has a question or concern, it is clear to me that you tell your students one thing and then act based some totally different set of criteria.  Further, when I have asked you for clarification, I have gotten yet a third answer.  Erin doesn’t know what to believe.  I don’t know what to believe.  Is she lying to me?  I doubt it; she’s not capable of being that conniving.  She may not have all the information but she is upfront when she is confused and is willing to admit when she is wrong. 

Regarding her unexcused absence in March, when she tried to turn in her packet late, she was only offered half credit because the assignment had already been graded and you refused to go back and grade hers separately. We all have parts of our jobs that we hate.  We are stuck making up for others laziness, or lack of effort, or any other number of situations.  But we suck it up and deal with it.  You telling me that only half credit was possible because all the other work had been corrected (by students I might add) and handed back and that it inconvenienced you to have to look at Erin's separately and after the fact, was crap.  Plain and simple.  Remember, she didn’t know it was due, you know because she could only work on it in class because she DOESN’T HAVE A TEXTBOOK! But, she was still held accountable for it, which is fine, you know, because what’s a D on her transcript?

This is what I know about my daughter:

1. I know that my daughter doesn't listen or study as well as she should.  

2. I know that she's terrible at asking for clarification when she doesn't understand something.

3. I know that I am constantly riding her to get her work turned in and her grades up and that we fight about your class; A LOT.

BUT

1.  I know that often you do not give them all the pertinent information; it has been occurring all year.  That you call for assignments on a whim and can’t remember from class to class what you tell your students.

2.  I know that you tell your students that they shouldn't expect to hear back from you if they email you; Erin is quite surprised that I have gotten responses.

3.  I know that more than once there have been assignments you show as missing that were actually there.

4.  I know that you are disorganized and that communication is poor, unless it comes to telling your students how qualified you are in the medical field and that they are lucky to have you as a teacher.

5.  I know that there are several times over the last eight months that Erin has tried to talk to you about things and you aren't available.

If you are going to hold my child accountable for information that is incomplete, then let’s turn the tables.  Can you (or any other teacher in Davis District for that matter) explain to me why we have all these fantastic electronic resources and calendars available on the District website and yet none of you can be bothered to use them?  We are expected to register our kids, pay fees and fines, and buy tickets to the football games online for heavens sake, all using our myDSD account.  Just once, as a parent, I would like to be able to look at a teacher’s website and actually get accurate and pertinent information.  It seems to me if you’re expecting that from my kid, I should expect it from you.  We are, after all, grown ups.

So, here we are at midterm…. the end of the school year, and despite everything that I have tried to do to help her be successful, Erin’s grade sits at an F.  And you, her teacher, don’t seem to care.  You are certainly not interested in trying to be helpful, which I guess is okay.  She has to grow up sometime, right?

I would like to sit down with you and Erin, both in the same room, so that you’re both accountable for what you say, and I would like to figure out what she can do to try and salvage her grade; you know, maybe shoot for a C.  I am tired of all of these discussions being her word against yours.  Thankfully, Parent Teacher conferences are Monday, so expect to see us.  Ideally, I would hope that this would be a time of self-reflection for you as well, so that some other student in the future is not held hostage by your miscommunication and disorganization.  However, based on what I have heard from other parents, that is not likely to happen.

To anyone else who reads this letter, because I will be sending a copy to the Administration, let me acknowledge upfront that I know this is snarky, and honestly kind of immature.  But I am so frustrated with the way things have been handled in your class this year that I’m not really sure I care anymore.  I believe that you are a bully; that you find students who struggle and you make them feel stupid and unworthy of positive attention.  At least, that’s how you’ve made my kid feel this year.

At this point, we are all just barely hanging on.  Hoping that things go well enough that we don’t find ourselves in SRC next fall…. but then that’s another thing, because on the days she comes into your class for SRC, you don’t check her in and she is marked absent.  So good job there too.

I know being a teacher, even a bad one, is hard.  But that’s really not my kids fault.  Fortunately for you, we have Scantron and other students to take responsibility for providing feedback for my daughter. Quite honestly, I’m not sure that I’d be that impressed by anything you had to say.  At the end of the day, I can look at this whole experience that we’ve had in Health this year and admit that the grade Erin earned is the one you prepared her for.

When this year is over, and she is done with your class, there may be some residual information that stays in her brain.  Be assured however that you have killed any desire she had to pursue anything medical.  She was very excited at the first of the year and now, honestly, she is just trying to get through.  So our fantastic educational system is built entirely on trying to survive.  And why? Because teachers like you are not engaged with their students; you don't appear to be invested in their success or complicit in their shortcomings.  Anything that she walks away with this year will be a bonus for the time she has endured.

We are all human, and we all make mistakes.  I honestly believe that most of the time, nearly all us are trying to give our best: even Erin.  Obviously, she is disorganized, she has less-than-ideal study habits and is a crappy test taker.  I get it.  We're working on it and have been since the fourth grade.  But as a parent, I would appreciate you giving her the benefit of the doubt on some of this stuff when we are so often expected to do the same with you.

Thank you,

Rebekah Pierce

Letter #2

Dear Taylor Families-

As we limp toward the finish line and the promise of summer, I wanted to publicly acknowledge and thank all of the parents who have tirelessly served our students, teachers and parents this year.  We are so fortunate to have a school community that works well together for the good of our students.  Specifically, I would like to thank Lisa Thomas and her board for their creativity and diligent efforts in offering such a wide variety of opportunities for our students and their families this year.  As we are all aware, Utah students and schools are often faced with difficult choices regarding the funding and support of programs.  The PTA works in partnership with school administrators and staff to try and enrich the experiences your students have during the school year.  This year, in addition to some of the perennial favorites like the Carnival and Literacy Night, our students and their families enjoyed a Christmas Open House and full-blown production of Peter Pan!  As the PTA Board looks to next year, they have asked for feedback from parents.  It is important to understand that the PTA represents everyone and that the activities planned by this organization look to garner the biggest bang for your buck. 

As far as money is concerned, there always exists a need to explain how and why funds are allocated.  What does the school pay for?  What does the PTA pay for?  Did you know they are separate?  We know you hate fundraisers; and there are AT LEAST two a year (one for the school and one for the PTA.)  The PTA is open to any and all ideas in order to raise the funds we need to run the programs that you find valuable.  We have tried selling products, asking for donations and holding events.  There isn’t necessarily one right answer, but we have figured out that the most supported and effective way to raise funds for the PTA is by sponsoring our annual school Carnival.  Nearly all of our operating budget is raised through this event.  It is a great opportunity for our school community to gather and support the PTA; to build friendships and have a good time.

It is important that parents understand that the PTA does not exist as a fundraising organization; we don’t have some great reserve of money that we’re holding back waiting to send the executive board to Hawaii.  In fact, we are governed by regulations that limit the amount of funds that are able to be carried from year-to-year.  The PTA raises funds to exist.  The money that parents pay every year to join the PTA (around $5) goes to administer the programs at district, state and national levels; it doesn’t stay at the school.  Every year the PTA executive board looks at the funds available and tries to judiciously divide them between the programs that will enrich the lives of our students.  If you want to know where the money goes, look for the budget note that comes home at the first of the year.  Better yet, come to the PTA meetings.  Even better than that, volunteer your time.

As parents, it is easy to become frustrated with the way things are done by others.  What many of us have realized is that if we find ourselves frustrated, the best way to remedy the situation is to get involved; there are jobs big and small.  It is fascinating to get involved and discover all that the PTA does and all that we could do, if we had the full support of our school community.  The biggest problem that our school faces relative to the PTA is that as a general rule, our volunteer base remains fairly stagnant for several years and then, as families age out of Taylor, there are holes in many of the programs.  These holes are eventually filled, but programs and activities suffer in the meantime.  Taylor PTA needs to have a more stable, diverse and involved group of parents.  Our programs need to be able to draw support from more than just a handful of families.  Taylor students and their families are some of the best around and if everyone found some way to be involved, our school would soar.

As is the case with any organization, the PTA can only focus on so many things.  It is important for you as parents to know, however, that the PTA is open to pretty much any idea that you can come up with.  If you have a great idea, please share.  If you see a need you’d like addressed, contact the board and let’s work on it.  If you have a question, please ask.  The PTA is governed by a set of by-laws and our school is governed by state and federal laws and district guidelines.  The role of the PTA is to work to support the school and to try and enrich our students educational experience when possible.  There are things we can do and things we can’t, but please, let’s have the conversation.

The PTA is excited to end this year on a high note with our Family Fun night on May 20^th and Field Day on June 2^nd.  I know that my family is super excited for all of the fun and I hope that you will join me, and the PTA, in supporting Taylor students!

Rebekah Pierce

Letter #3

Dear Principal-

I know that educational concern forms were due yesterday.  We had a family emergency and so I was not able to take time to finish this letter until this morning.  

In considering placement for next year, I would like to respectfully request that my student be placed with xxxx. I have seen both of the classrooms in action and feel as though xxxx is a better fit for my student and for our family.  xxxx is great about focusing on the individual needs of her students.  It is important to me as a parent that my student be seen as an individual. xxxx presented a variety of different learning methods and worked with us until we found a good fit for my other student.  When my other student had moved beyond some of the curriculum offered in the class, xxxx worked with us to help my other student explore new areas including current events and academic journals that provided the information in a way that was engaging and beneficial to her.  xxxx is not a one-size-fits-all teacher.  She is willing to work with students and parents to create a plan that works for each student.  She is enthusiastic about what she teaches and has also impressed us with her willingness to look for opportunities to enrich students learning by bringing in guest speakers and looking for new and alternative learning activities.  She is positive and encouraging with the students and is willing to go the extra mile to help them be successful; when the new math curriculum was introduced, she held classes for parents so that we could understand what we were supposed to be helping our children with.  She is fantastic at communicating with parents and has always been available to address concerns or let us know if there is a problem.  It has been my experience, both as a classroom parent and as someone who has served with xxxx in PTA and Community Council capacities that she provides the structure that my student needs, with the flexibility to allow him to apply what he's learning in a way that is meaningful and beneficial for him.

Conversely, I have had a number of interactions and experiences with yyyy that leave me feeling as though she is lacking as a teacher.  I recognize that in many ways she provides a public face to our school through her grant proposals, her technology initiatives and some of the other community things she stays involved in. However, I have been on the receiving end of lost communication and misunderstandings with her more times than I’d care to discuss.  I have been in her classroom when her students are expected to direct their own learning (in the dark) while she is otherwise engaged at her desk.  And as a volunteer, I have been present when she has taken it upon herself to berate parents (in front of students) while they are donating their time to try and make her programs successful. I have watched as her roles as a parent and a teacher have come in conflict with each other and although I can sympathize with all of this from a human perspective, this is not an environment that I want my student in.  It appears to me that yyyy can be a good teacher for a certain type of student, but this type of student is not mine.

I am happy to come in and fill out the paper if you would like me to.  Likewise, I would be happy to meet with you to discuss my feelings further if you feel it necessary.  I am trying to be proactive in planning for next year and let you know where I am coming from.  I am not generally in the business of issuing ultimatums, so please don’t take this as such, but I will be honest and say that we would definitely look into other options for my student next year if yyyy is our only option.  We feel THAT strongly about this.  Again, if you’d like to discuss this further, I'd be happy to talk via phone, email or in person.

Thanks,

Rebekah Pierce

Letter #4

McKenzie-

The food for our Teacher Appreciation luncheon was great, although I was a little disappointed that the brownies and bread pudding were not delivered warm.  Perhaps more disappointing was the fact that the delivery was 15 minutes late and with the exception of your driver carrying in part of the order (we helped as we were rushed) there was no help with set-up, which caused us to be behind our schedule.  As you might imagine, in a school setting, the teachers and staff only have so long for breaks and the fact that we were late starting did inconvenience some of our staff.

I was also frustrated by the fact that we were asked for a gratuity, although in looking back over the contract, it did make note of that on the back page.  As it is customary to be automatically charged a gratuity for a party of 8 or more in a restaurant, I cannot for the life of me understand why that charge wouldn't also be included with a catering/delivery order.

Finally, although I can appreciate the need for streamlining in a corporate operation, the fact that my catering contact was not actually in the store I ordered food from made the whole process confused and disjointed.  After several calls with you on the phone, discussing whether or not the driver was actually AT our location, I did receive a call from the Manager of Famous Dave's Layton, but at that point in time, we were behind on things and I didn't have the opportunity to sit and discuss the finer points of customer service.

We picked Famous Dave's for our teacher luncheon because of the reputation for good food and your competitive prices.  However, given the casual nature of the customer service I received during the delivery process, I would be hesitant to use you again, or recommend you to others.  I think it would be fair for you to at least remove the delivery charge from our final bill.  While it is only $20, I feel like it would at least represent some degree of acknowledgement for the manner in which things were conducted.

Thank you,

Rebekah Pierce

Taylor Elementary PTA Hospitality Chair

Letter #5

I am writing to request a class change for my daughter Erin.  She currently has xxxx and for whatever reason, she is not happy in his class.  It is my understanding that she spoke to you earlier in the semester about switching, but there's some rule you have to attend 7 times before you'll let her transfer. So, I think she's done that.  I have been in communication with xxxx and we have talked about the situation and he has been great. She is reluctant to come in and talk to you again because she feels like she got shot down when she asked to transfer earlier.  Hence, my email.

She has loved seminary up til this term and is still super involved with church and its associated activities.  I'd like to keep it that way.

I know that seminary is not something you take for its entertainment value, but I feel as though it is a class (an elective) that she should enjoy it and should be learning.  I can tell you this, she has basically checked out on seminary, so if I want her to keep attending, I want it to mean something to her.

To give you a little background on our family, while both my husband and I are seminary graduates, and we have encouraged our daughters to enroll, I am not going to force them to go.  We have had the conversation several times that seminary doesn't have to be in your schedule unless you want it to... but likewise, if they're going to sign up for it, we expect them to attend.  She calls me from the bathroom at the seminary at least once a week and asks me to check her out.  xxxx has her sitting in the front of the room, and that makes her incredibly uncomfortable.  She hates being called on to contribute in class.  That said, if she's got something to say, she's not necessarily shy about contributing.  She just feels like xxxx puts her on the spot and it makes her uncomfortable.

So, I am respectfully asking you to transfer her to another teacher that same period.  If it is not a possibility, we'll make her finish the year.  However, I am not apt to push her to take seminary next year.

I know that it can't be fun and wonderful all the time, but I know my daughter too and if she is uncomfortable in his class, we support her in feeling the change is necessary.

And then one little thing that kind of bugs me is the fact that I guess you try to switch everyone's teacher at the semester break?  As a parent, and a student, I feel like that causes a disruption and a distraction (like our current situation.). She loved yyyy and really connected with him.  And while we all have boring teachers or people we don't click with from time to time, this is not a situation that I think she needs to stick with.

She struggles in school, and because of seminary is not able to take classes that would A.) boost her GPA or B.) give her the emotional and mental fortitude to persevere in her educational endeavors.  If seminary is a refuge and a place where she feels included and important, then I can support that.  If it's causing the issues it is, I'd rather see her take an art or a music class; and let her experience a win for her psyche.

Anyway, this is a long rambling email, and thanks for hanging in there with me.  I wish I had better reasons to ask for the change.... she can't pinpoint one thing that makes it miserable, but she doesn't like it and I don't think that is the kind of seminary experience I want her to have.

Thank you for your consideration in this matter,

Rebekah Pierce

Letter #6

Kylie and Jordan...

First, let me apologize for my delay in responding.  We were in Florida until Monday, and I have been tied up with some medical stuff the last couple of days.

In regards to our experience at Splitsville, as much as I hate to say it, we would not come back, nor would I recommend it to anyone.  For the following reasons:

Going in, let me say that we come to Disney frequently and try to do something new or different on every trip.  You were our "different" this trip.  To begin with, I felt like the price was very high, especially to reserve a lane with dining.  Shoe rental @ $20+?  That seemed extreme.  Most of our party has Annual Passes to the parks, but we were traveling with someone who only had a 7-day Hopper so we chose to do this our first night in Florida as opposed to a park.

So, I felt like it was expensive to begin with, but went ahead and signed contract, not being sure what kind of crowds we would be dealing with.  My next point of contention is that I feel like your recommendation of 1 1/2 hours of time for a party of our size was excessive.  We, by no means bowled quickly, taking time to eat and chat while we bowled, but in the end, only bowled for half our allotted time.  We could have booked an hour and would have been fine.

So, why did we not bowl the entire duration of time we'd paid for?  Because the lanes were awful.  No where in any of the information I read about your establishment did it indicate that they were far shorter on approach than standard bowling lanes.  They were extremely close together and the floors were disgusting.  Anyone who has spent any time bowling understands the need for well-groomed lanes and the role they play in a good game.  Ideally, your feet should be able to slide across the lanes on approach, not just past the line.  Bowling on these lanes felt like I was bowling on the floor of a movie theater!  As a matter of fact, the stickiness of the floor caused a minor knee  injury in our group... on the first night of our vacation.  Regardless of what you charge, the lanes were awful.  Paying $200+ for the experience was just adding insult to injury.

Finally, the idea that this bowling/dining experience would be premier is a joke.  The food was completely unremarkable and overpriced.  Our party ordered two different types of fries and a cheese pizza, and I would submit that I've had better food at McDonald's and Dominoes than at Splitsville.

Bottom line, I felt cheated.  I know things are expensive at Disney.  However, I will say that this is the first thing I have ever done, on Property, in 25 years, that I walked away angry about.  You are selling something high-end that, in reality, couldn't be more trashy.

Thank you for the opportunity to tell you how I felt.  However, you would have heard about it anyway because I had planned on writing this letter as soon as we left that night.  Sad to say, but you will be the ONE thing at Disney that I will steer people away from.

Letter #7

Coach-

Let me begin by saying that despite the rain and a few bumps in the road, my son has had a really great season this year.  It has been a little bit frustrating that we have had so much rain, but you and the other coaches have made the best of it.

I have a few questions regarding this last email that you sent out.  I'm trying to decide, or understand, why it is such a big thing for us to beat the Blue Jays.  Do they have a better record than we do?  Is it just because we haven't had a chance to play them this year because of the rain?  I have really loved the fact this year that you have focused on skill improvement, personal player development and the love of the game.  I think that is why I'm confused by how competitive this series seems to be, at least for others besides us.  I'm not sure, personally, that I understand the need for us to "pick up where we left off" before another scheduled game on Monday night, with the same team.  Is there really that much more at stake with this team than any of the others that have been rained out?

It might be hyperbole meant just for the parents but I'm quite sure that I am not okay with the idea that you'd "like the Blue Jays to remember the night they messed with the Cardinals."  Did they mess with us?  Has there been some smack talk between players and/or coaches that I'm not aware of?  As far as my husband and I are concerned, these are little boys playing Little League baseball.  We want them to do their best and give their all, but if this is directed at the kids then I think its pretty divisive for little boys that often leave the games as friends and classmates.  I feel like this rhetoric is best left to comp or all-star teams.  I get that it's meant to motivate, but that's not what we're looking for.

I recognize that I may be in the minority, and our lack of competitive interest (at least this year) is the reason that we elected to not participate in All-Stars.  Let me reiterate.... I think you have done a great job.  I'm grateful for the time and effort you have put into developing these boys.  I have had no issue with the way things have been run at the games or practices or anything... I just think that "picking up where we left off" last night puts us in an "us vs. them" mentality that I'm not a huge fan of at this age.

I think that in spite of some disappointing baseball weather, we've had a great year and I'd hate to see that end on what seems to be a bitter note.  I hope that's not the case.  At any rate, we'll be there at 4:45 on Monday. 

Thanks for all you've done and for listening to me vent.

See you at the ballpark,

Rebekah Pierce

Letter #8

Members of the Planning Commission-

My husband and I moved to Centerville in 2006 and were immediately smitten by it's small town feel and the strength of the community.  We take for granted the fact that at any given time there are people walking, running, riding bikes or skateboards down our streets.  I have even seen a horse or two.  I love that I can be in my yard and that I can interact with neighbors and other city residents.  Centervilleis a friendly city with a lot of great people.  In many ways, it has stayed true to it's small town roots.

However, as I have watched various plans debated and discussed for Main Street, it is evident that there seems to be a bias in our city government toward maintaining the status quo of some bygone era.  As is often the case, cities grow and expand faster than city ordinances can keep up.  Centerville's Main Street area is a great example of this.  We have residents, small businesses and some open space.  In recent years, there has been a push for smarter development, which is generally a good thing.  In this latest round, it is my understanding that the City Council's biggest concern is regarding liability along the streets.  Can we officially add "covering our butts" as a small town value that should govern the way we interact in our town?

There is a faction in our city government who would like things to stay the way they are; which ignores the fact that the one constant in life is change.  The best thing that we can do as residents is try to manage our growth.  Our previous City Council took time and made the effort to try and create a unified vision for Main Street.  They have not required that tremendous city funds or resources be committed to changing this; simply that future planning needs to be mindful of an ideal and work towards that.  This is the right path for our city.

Please keep the Main Street plan in place.  I live on Main Street.  Traffic and safety are of utmost importance to me and my family.  I watch daily as school children come and go, runners, bikers and any number of other residents pass my house.  I support our community and feel that those of us who live on Main Street should be able to enjoy some of the idyllic neighborhoods that so many of our City Council members enjoy.  A few trees, negotiable sidewalks, benches, planters..... think about it.  I would encourage members of the Planning Commission and the City Council to maintain the path that was set by the previous City Council.  I would also like to see the decisions that affect me as a resident of the south side of Main Street made by people who may actually spend some time in my neck of the woods.  It seems to me like there are several city officials who are all too happy to try and manage my life and neighborhood, but would riot if I tried to change their neighborhood.

Thank you,

Rebekah Pierce

There's also a really good one about a Delta Flight Attendant and Jack barfing, but I can't find it on my computer.  The last few are thrown in just to show you that I don't solely discriminate against teachers at this time of year.... everybody is fair game.

So, onto Allie.  I don't particularly have a hard time with Allie and school.  She pretty much takes care of business.  With a couple of exceptions.  She has a science teacher.... who sends more emails than any one human should send.  Like, four a day!  Which is ultra weird when you contrast it with 90% of the other teachers that I have encountered; who don't send anything unless you contact them first.  So I'm tired of getting emails from Mr. Tran.  Where is captcha?  Someone, somewhere ought to be monitoring his band width. I'm also tired of the project that they are still working on that requires rubber bands and CD's and balloons.  Like really, why do they do crap like this anyway?  I hate these kind of projects... you know, drop the egg without it breaking.  And I love how they offer stuff like this at the end of the year.... you know, as an enrichment opportunity.  The only thing this project accomplished was getting hot glue all over my kitchen countertops.  Allie's friend Belle probably thinks that my house always looks like it has over the last month, because they've been working on this stupid project and I am running from one big event to another and everything (ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING) makes it just inside the door from the garage before it is abandoned and suddenly, belongs to no one!

**Update** Although is it really an update if this hasn't been published yet?  Yes.  This morning, fresh from my weekend away from home and school, I found myself picking through stuff on the kitchen counter and found Allie and Belle's car, in pieces.  So I chucked it.  Like, squished it down in the garbage can because I was going to fit every last piece of garbage in the can before I emptied it, chucked it.  Evidently, that was the wrong course of action.  She still needs it.  It's due tomorrow.  Mr. Tran, you are the bane of my existence.  Now she's mad and there's really no way to say "if you wanted to protect it, you should have kept it in your room" without sounding like I'm giving her a big old "I told you so."

Over the course of the last month, Allie has had tryouts for Musical Theater and Madrigals (she made both) and has had orchestra and choir concerts and piano recitals.  The orchestra concert is generally the worst for moms because despite the fact that every dang concert I make sure that she has a black skirt for the performance, they somehow magically disappear the night before the latest performance and I'm scrambling to find something for her to wear because "it counts on my grade."  I would also swear that we could shoe all the horses pulling Cinderella's carriage with the black dress shoes that live at our house.  They multiply asexually, which means they're everywhere in the house and yet there are NO pairs.  Or, if we find a pair, they're flats and she needs heels, or you know, the other way around.  And then there are the choir dresses that we pay $80 for which are not all that flattering on too many folks (although admittedly, this is hard to do) and they are essentially made of recycled milk cartons so they can't be ironed or they fuse to the ironing board.  Seriously!  So then we have to sit through the concerts; easier with some than with others, but then she expects ice cream or something afterwards... and I've got crap to do.

And then, Allie tells me last night that they just barely got to the battle of Antietam in American History and that next week they're going to talk about Gettysburg.  How is it that there are European History classes that start with folks in caves and ends at the Berlin Wall (still not okay, but better) and we can't get through Reconstruction?  That's crappy.

The final Allie complication when it comes to the end of the school year is her birthday.  It's usually during the last week of school and although there is generally nothing really important going on, the schedule still needs to be finagled to make sure she is not disappointed..... and she is always disappointed.  If you read the last post about Erin's birthday party, you'll realize that certain members of our family watch WAY TOO MUCH reality TV.  The bar is set ridiculously high.  This year, she wants Belle to sleep over and then for me to take them to City Creek to shop and eat and maybe see a movie.  After Erin's party, this is an event that I can support.

**Another update** Belle has been grounded for talking back (which I totally support; the grounding not the talking back) but now Allie's birthday "is ruined."  Like how do I convince my children that these are truly first-world problems.  Stay strong Angie!

Now we're onto the tales of a fourth grade nothing.... or a fourth grade Jack.  Being in the fourth grade at Taylor Elementary is probably lots of fun..... if you're a kid.  If you're a parent, it's a dang lotta work.  Although I will say upfront and out loud that Jack has had an awesome year at school this year.  He has by and large come to accept the fact that although homework and projects suck, they have to be done.  I really like the point when kids understand this.  One of the things that can be fun about going to a 50-year-old school are the traditions..... but traditions can also mean getting stuck in a rut.  The teachers push and push and push the kids during the school year, and then the last three weeks are filled with field trips.... which means sack lunches and parent chaperones at the worst possible time.  Thank goodness Jack loves school lunch.  But breakfast has totally gone the way of the dodo.  Last week, Jack and Will had cookies and ice cream for breakfast and it probably should have bothered me a whole lot more than it did.

The biggest thing in the fourth grade year at Taylor is Rendezvous.  Parents are recruited a year in advance to help.  I received my invitation Erin's year while I was innocently trying to do my Visiting Teaching.  That right there people is a reason to not do your Visiting Teaching.  Rendezvous is a two day event held to recognize and commemorate the mountain men who first explored and hunted in this area.  The Cub Scouts in the fourth grade compete to be able to participate in the flag ceremony.  Jack arrived home from school triumphantly yesterday, informing me that he had been selected.  Thank goodness.  For two days, the fourth grade and their teachers, and parents and in some cases, grandparents will gather outside and participate in the following activities.....

• There is a mountain man reenactor who comes and talks to the kids about what life would have been like, back in the day.
• The kids will decorate picture frames and get their pictures taken in period clothing
• There's a hatchet throw that Matt and another dad will staff and will endeavor to have all of the children leave with the fingers and toes they arrived with.
• There will be fry bread (or Utah scones) and homemade butter.  This is definitely one of the kids favorite stops.
• Kids will learn about and create their own petroglyphs.
• There will be leather and beaded necklaces for the kids to make (which reminds me that I need to get the little plastic bags for the supplies to Laura)
• They will make possible bags (which are little and made of leather, and have a dumb name.)
• And weaving.  Evidently I'm in charge of this station and I have no idea what that means or implies.
• The kids will have a dutch oven lunch on Thursday.  It is a loose interpretation of an actual dutch oven meal in that it is actually a themed school lunch that parents put in cold dutch ovens to make it look authentic.  This requires that I inspect our outdoor gear and dig out the dutch ovens.

And that's just Thursday, people.... which also happens to be my birthday.  So yeah, me and the fourth grade... we're going to have a party.  Friday, I get my pioneer on by helping the kids stuff and sew pillows (that I have already facilitated the painting of and the majority of sewing for), dip candles, make homemade ice cream (among other things) and then collapse in a heap on the floor of the gym while they square dance.  Evidently, this is supposed to bring me joy as a parent. All it brings me is flashbacks.  Flashbacks to elementary school gym where Mr. Johnson, the only black guy in the state of Utah that didn't play for the Jazz, was our PE Teacher.  He was constantly chomping on a toothpick and I'm sure was frustrated as all get out that he had to teach square dancing as part of his PE program.  Let it be said, he was probably equally frustrated that he was being forced to teach kids that volleyball was played with a bouncing ball between each hit before it went over the net.  Even at the time, not being what I would call a sports aficionado, it sounded fishy to me.

Friday afternoon, I will be in my car, fighting the urge to drink something stronger than a Diet Coke.  I will be hauling home all manor of craft project supplies that will either A.) stay in my car until I have to unload it for another event, or B.) get shuttled inside the house, and maybe down the stairs to the heap of crap that is my craft room right now.

Oh my shame.... and let it be known that these were actually taken back in February.  I started cleaning as a Valentine's gift to myself (I know, you might die from the romance).  I actually got fairly far along; like the finish line was in sight.  But then life happened and it's in a very similar state, although sporting the ruin of new projects.  If anybody's asking, I'm conscripting helpers for my birthday.  My darling daughters don't know it yet, but their Memorial Day weekend is being spent in the basement.

In addition to school, Jack is involved in tae kwon do, piano lessons and baseball for hours and hours on end.  Honestly, I'm kind of amazed that he likes it so much, but he does.  Jack is convinced, and is trying really hard to put in the time, to be a pitcher.  He's obsessed with being properly attired so that he can slide into the base and he's thrilled that he gets to play under the lights now.

I'm kind of done with bedtimes, and my standards for my children's viewing have lowered considerably.  It would really help me out if Bob's Burgers wasn't so dang funny.  But it is, and it's wildly inappropriate.... but we let the kids watch it anyway.

And then there's William.  What do you say about a boy who is the caboose by five years, has seductive brown eyes and the personality of a game show host?  There are a lot of times that I find myself thinking that I really need to step up my game with him because in all likelihood, he'll be the one who chooses my long-term care facility.  Will is a trooper.  He is nearly done with preschool and has really loved it this year.  Mrs. Brooks is definitely his favorite and he has loved all of the friends he has made at school.... except for a few who shall remain nameless (either to protect their identity or the fact that I actually can't remember their names.)  He has his favorites to be sure.  He has carpooled this year, mostly with girls and they like to watch Frozen.  He hates it!  Or at least he says he does.  At this point in the year, the carpool has dwindled down to Will and Tessa, with a little Aspen thrown in.  We forgot to pick up two of the little girls two weeks ago.  They watched a movie and ate lots of pretzels while their mothers were sitting at home wondering where their kids were.  So, yeah, we are definitely sliding down hill fast.  This week is preschool graduation.  He is supposed to wear red, white or blue and hopefully I remember that.  He needs a hair cut; if only to distinguish between the hair on his head and the hair on his forehead.  Did I mention he's half wolf?  He likes to pull up his shirt and show strangers his hairy back.  I shouldn't laugh.... but honestly, it's funny.

Capping off the school year is the involvement in the PTA.  Our elementary school PTA deserves a pension.... honestly.  The job sucks.... and people (who are in the throes of it) will tell you it's rewarding, but they're lying.  The only thing you get is an inside track to the principal so that the authorities aren't called when you write one of the letters that is featured earlier in this post.  I have been involved with the PTA in some form or another for the last ten years.  I can admit, there have been good parts, but it's a dang lotta work and everyone wants to tell you what you should do, or what you shouldn't, or what their sisters' school did, or what some crappy district rule doesn't allow.  Anyway, back to this year.  Sweet Lisa, the PTA President, contacted me in the fall with the information about my responsibilities this year.... and I said "I'm not coming to any meetings."  And, "I'm not kidding about the meeting thing."  Time was, I liked PTA meetings; it was a chance to see my mom friends.  Now is not that time.  I still like my mom friends, but I just like my pajamas better.  And really, I spend most meetings I sit in trying to keep myself from offering my opinions, telling someone their ideas are stupid or volunteering to be in charge.  So..... I get my marching orders and set off to do what I do.  I have a couple of suggestions for next year.  Namely, Teacher Appreciation Week should be in the fall.  I say that for a couple of reasons.... October is not nearly as busy as May is, at least in my life.  And, I think if the teachers were to feel a little love on the front end from the parents and students, then maybe we'd all cut each other a little more slack over the school year.  Teacher Appreciation should be a little less "return on investment" and a little more "grease the skids."  Just my personal opinion.  The last word about the PTA is taken from a favorite children's story of mine....

"The Little Red Hen."    Thanks and credit go to Wikipedia for so succinctly summarizing this.

• In the tale, the little red hen finds a grain of wheat and asks for help from the other farmyard animals to plant it, but none of them volunteer.
• At each later stage (harvest, threshing, milling the wheat into flour, and baking the flour into bread), the hen again asks for help from the other animals, but again she gets no assistance.
• Finally, the hen has completed her task and asks who will help her eat the bread. This time, all the previous non-participants eagerly volunteer. She declines their help stating that no one aided her in the preparation work. Thus, the hen eats it with her chicks leaving none for anyone else.
• The moral of this story is that those who say no to contribution to a product do not deserve to enjoy the product: "if any would not work, neither should he eat."

It's really put up, or shut up.  I've said it before and I'll say it again; there is a job for everyone in the PTA.  Volunteering gets you a seat at the table.  And who knows?  You may have a skill set, a budget, an attitude or an address book that could truly be of benefit to our public schools.

And while I'm on my rant, and it's my blog so I can say whatever I want, I would like the schools in Utah, if they're not going to pony up the money to provide my kid with a competitive education, to at least do a better job of educating the public about what it costs to educate a child.  I would love an option for all of my kids that says that my kids will have all the text books and study materials for every class.... and if I have to pay for it like I will when they go to college, so be it. I understand that the state cannot mandate that parents pay what their kids' educations truly cost, but I also kind of think that if I can pay, I should pay.  And so should the parents of my kids friends if they can afford to.  Put the money in the state budget to use for the kids who can't pay.  I am sick to death of feeling like there are not enough resources to pay for the needs of our students.  I don't know how you fix it; although I don't think pulling kids out of public schools is the answer.  I don't know that I completely believe in the Bernie Sanders philosophy that everyone should get a free education, but I think our society would be better served by understanding the benefit of an educated populace.

Today is the last Monday of the school year, thanks to Memorial Day.  We are almost there folks.... stay strong.  The kids are planning the end of the year parties; I'm planning the time that I don't have to plan.  I don't have to worry that everyone has had breakfast.... because if they haven't eaten breakfast, no one besides me has to listen to them whine until lunch.

Like moms across the land, I am preparing my chore lists, bucket lists, extra curricular activities and girding up my loins to try and be the "fun mom."  This will most likely last until about mid-June, when the inmates take over the asylum and the kids start planning their back-to-school shopping excursions with friends.

A few final words about teachers and school.  At some point, I hope that my children begin to appreciate the lessons and opportunities that they get in schools.  I hope they recognize the fact that although I sound like a nag, me bugging them about their homework is because I want them to have opportunities later in life.  Hopefully the times I turn down the chance to chaperone the field trip, forget to pack a home lunch or sign the monthly calendar that the teacher sends home (February is still on my cork board) that they define these experiences as character building.

As a parent, I have had several experiences where I mentally thank my parents every day, and often find myself asking for forgiveness for ever being a teenager.  Likewise, my experiences from this year have lead me to reflect often on many of the great teachers that I had during my educational experience.  Thank you Mrs. Evans, Mr. Newman, Mr. Sundell, Ms. Daniels, and Mrs. Thompson.  You made a big difference in my life, and helped to create the snarky awesomeness that my kids call Mom.