My name is Rebekah Ann Homer Pierce. Born in Bountiful, Utah in 1975 (a date that is getting farther and farther down on those drop down menus, I might add.) I love my family, in all their various forms. I try really hard to be a good daughter and a good wife. I spend most of my time acting as a mother and all it entails. My favorite description of the role of a mother is "the dispenser of quick and dirty justice." Life as a mom is not always pretty, and certainly isn't easy, but it's something that I take great satisfaction in. I have a long way to go until I would consider myself "great" but I would give myself a solid B in the subject of mothering.
My mothering philosophy is this. I try really hard not to yell.... I hate the way it escalates and enhances bad feelings. I much prefer sarcasm. I am not one for passive-aggressiveness; I think you should own your emotions. My kids know when I'm upset, but likewise, it's generally pretty easy to tell when I'm in a good mood. I want my kids to know that they are special. I do the basics. I run them to their activities, make sure they're clothed (in mostly clean clothes), fed (although I may not actually make said food) and I make them do their homework. I try really hard not to nag, and to let natural consequences take their course. I feel bad that I have favorites (but don't worry, they change occasionally.) I tell my kids that I love them multiple times a day. I love to get hugs from my boys and am grateful that my girls choose our house to hang out with their friends. I try to create special times; I've learned to set a very low bar for myself, however, because special times can kill you if you're not really prepared. I like to think that I roll with the punches, but the truth is, I still struggle with this one; I'm better than I was, but still not good.
As a wife, I see myself as a confidante, comic relief, gopher and main source of my husband's frustration (see previous posts on depression.) I like to buy things and make the house look pretty; but I fall short when it comes to laundry domination, sparkling toilet bowls and gourmet meals. I have not given up yet, however. I love my husband. He's awesome. I know I'm not everything he wishes I would be, but over the years, I'm sure I've gotten a few points for trying. I support him in his work; I want him to be happy and fulfilled. I appreciate the burden he bears as the "sole provider" for our family. I would rather spend time with him (preferably without the interruption of little voices) than anyone. I look forward to growing old with him and having adventures together.
As a daughter, I have to admit, that I am my parents' best. I say that only because I have no sisters. I always tried hard to be good (sometimes more dutifully than others) and I tried to set a good example for my younger brothers; or at least serve as a cautionary tale. I enjoy spending time with my parents and am grateful that they haven't changed the locks on the house. My parents do a lot for me and my family and I try to repay the favor (like that's even possible) in any way that I can.
Now onto the harder roles; sister, sister-in-law, daughter-in-law, aunt, niece, cousin, granddaughter (these are the other forms of family I spoke of earlier.) These are harder only because I have a big mouth and am incredibly outspoken. I think that I have yet to learn my proper place in these relationships and I vacillate between overly involved and completely withdrawn. It is sometimes really hard for me to understand why these other folks I love and who I'm also assuming love me, don't do what I think is best. I have some very strong opinions and surprising as it may be, they are not always shared. To all you folks, I hope you know that I love you, although I don't claim to understand you. I will probably continue to tell you how to raise your kids, what not to say, how to solve your problems or why you're reaping what you sow. It is not my intention to cause offense, but since I enjoy conversation and discussion, this is how I show my love. Jacked up, yes, but genuine, nonetheless.
Which brings me to the one word that I would use to describe myself: genuine. There is a big part of my personality that seeks to please others. However, I have discovered that by indulging that part of myself, I actually end up doing myself a disservice. So, I try really hard to be genuine; and it is hard because of those dang natural consequences. I am certain that there are many people that I encounter in my daily life who feel as though I am inappropriate or offensive or selfish. As I said before, I am not interested in being passive-aggressive and try really hard not to be subversive. That said, I do try to be tactful, but am not always successful. For those of you who truly want to know me, here are a few of my mottoes:
- You can't fix stupid. I have very, and I mean VERY, little tolerance for stupid people.
- Beauty fades, but stupid stays. I really like this because I have never fit into what I perceive as society's norm for beauty and style. When I'm 80, I may still not be much to look at, but we'll have fascinating conversations about interesting topics. Those hot girls from high school, cute girls from college, and gorgeous soccer moms will be sitting in a chair somewhere, having their hair died blue and talking about the 10,000th edition of "The Bachelor." Thanks, but I'm good with who I'm becoming.
- If you're going to look back and laugh, you might as well laugh now. I stole this from my good friend Lisa. This is such great advice; sometimes hard to do, but so important. This is honestly how I get through motherhood.
- I do like a good swear word every now and then. Probably more often than my parents would like and definitely more often than my kids enjoy, but I believe firmly that this is why I will never be called as Relief Society President. I enjoy the line from "A Christmas Story" where Ralphie explains that "My father worked in profanity the way other artists might work in oils or clay. It was his true medium, a master." Now, I don't claim to be a master and there are some words that I will not use, but there are times where a good cuss word just makes me feel better. Sorry Mom!
- I like it loud! Music, discussions, TV, whatever. And no, I don't believe that I have a hearing problem. I like to feel what I'm hearing and I like to know that people are hearing me. I have become pretty good at listening, too, but I like to know that I'm getting my point across. Also, there's no point in making sound if people can't hear it. So, please know, I am loud. And I HATE to be "shushhhed." So don't do it.
- If I'm going to say it behind your back, I might as well tell you to your face. This is a lesson I have learned the hard way, and sometimes is just a bitter pill to swallow. The truth hurts and sometimes I am not very diplomatic (although I do try.) But, the truth shall also set you free. In my relationships where I have learned to be truly honest, they have become the most fulfilling.
Okay.... enough philosophizing. Here are the random facts that must be included in any post of this nature.
- I am a recovering fatty... I still love chocolate and hate exercise but think I understand the point of moderation.
- I really, really, REALLY miss Diet Coke. I don't have it hardly ever anymore and that makes me sorta sad.
- I'm a bit of a history nerd and I think that it is sadly, something that is really lacking in future generations.
- I hate it when I'm offered unsolicited advice. Ironic, yes, but maddening still.
- It really bothers me that people vote straight-ticket in our country. I believe strongly in a two-party system and think no one party has a monopoly on good/bad ideas.
- I don't think that morality should be legislated. I don't think it is good for us as a society. There are a lot of things that fit under this umbrella, but I just think we should all pretty much live, and let live.
- I know that there are many people on this planet who know way more than me. I hope that eventually I will be humble enough to seek them out and learn from them.
- I am a stickler for spelling and grammar. It's important.
- I am incredibly grateful for good friends who accept me as I am and support me in everything I do. Thank you for loving me enough for me to show vulnerability. That's not an easy thing, but you guys make it possible.
- I miss my grandmas every day!
- I might be addicted to my iPhone and computer. That's a real possibility.
- I would choose to stay in my pajamas all day and read a book if that were an option.
- I love all things Disney and think that if you don't, you're doing it wrong.
Phew! That's a lot for one day. Tune in tomorrow for more great and enlightening moments with yours truly.
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