Back in the Saddle Again

So, if I'm going to be completely honest, today is the day I have been dreading. Matt left for his first business trip since Will arrived. I have known it was coming since October, but was lulled into a false sense of security since the hubby has been home since mid-December. Let me begin by saying that I was not, in any way, nervous about spending my day without him... it's the nighttime I'm dreading. I use the present-tense because it has not yet occurred, and I am fully expecting to be a zombie tomorrow.

It is important to understand that one of the reasons that this seems so hard is the fact that I have an awesome husband. I married the man because I knew he could cook, sew and didn't balk at cleaning up kid-puke. Truth be told, at one time, he was much better with kids that I was. I say at one time because I think I have made great strides in the last ten and a half years, and am confident in saying that I can hold my own and even best him under the right circumstances. But I digress...

The hubby has helped with homework, grocery shopped, cooked, tried to clean, taught kids how to do laundry, driven the carpool and just generally been available to help the first three young ones adjust to life with a new baby. As he waved goodbye at the airport this morning, I will admit that I felt a small twinge of jealousy knowing he was going to have at least 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep tonight... more if he doesn't have to be the designated driver. However, I do know from experience that the easiest way to learn to adjust to change is to jump in with both feet.

Finally, since I am blogging as an experiment in family history, I am going to document some of my successes and failures from the day. If you're not interested in the mundane details of my life, I suggest you stop reading now.

First, the successes. Got the kids and hubby to where they needed to be mostly on time. Took Will to the doctor for a weight check (back over his birth weight at 9 pounds even) and had his nasal passages suctioned out. Hopefully we are headed for recovery on the common cold front. Came home, fed the baby, washed three loads of laundry, did the dishes, bathed the baby, drove the carpool, mailed thank you notes and state tax return, made dinner and helped with homework. Also called friend that had declared me Missing in Action and took out the garbage to boot.

Next, the failures. Bought a dozen cupcakes and two huge sugar cookies, just because. I didn't eat them all, but thought seriously about it. I have no self discipline. Drank way too many Diet Cokes... seriously, I am an addict. I yelled at my kids; even though they've been incredibly helpful. Erin is loud, and distracted and can't seem to focus on anything for more than a minute; Allie is a drama queen and wants everyone to know how picked on she is; Jack is still adjusting and would play Lego video games all day if I'd let him and Will is sick and new and has no set schedule. I know, poor me. I guess I figure if I put it all out here, maybe I'll realize how lucky I really am and stop complaining (probably not, but maybe.)

Bottom line is this... I am dreading tonight. I figure I'll probably be up at least three times since Matt won't be home, holding Will, while trying to kill noobs on Call of Duty: Black Ops, and feeding the baby before turning in for the night. Tomorrow morning I will be channeling Gloria Gaynor and singing "I Will Survive" and feel like I can take on the world. At the very least, I can nap with the baby while the rest of the kids are at school. If I take a good, long look at my list, there are more goods than bads, and it's important to remember that. Let's just hope I can keep the proper perspective until Wednesday afternoon when Matt returns.